College is expensive, and one could debate if going into massive debt for a degree is even worth it. Luckily for one daughter, her parents are willing to foot the bill with one big rule: They will only pay for four years of higher education. Now the daughter wants to change her major again, which will mean more time in school.
Her parents stood firm on their four-year policy, which was communicated to their daughter from the beginning. Her siblings also followed this rule. Now the daughter is upset and the dad is second-guessing his decision.
The dad is second-guessing himself.
Money is not the issue here, it is the principal. “Me and my wife are well off and we are very grateful to it,” the dad explains. “We have four children and this is about our third kid Bella. We have a rule for college and it is get your degree in four years. We will pay for it and if you graduate earlier we will give you extra money for your own use.”
The dad compares Bella to her siblings.
The rule has been applied to all of her siblings. “For example my oldest graduated in four years and has no debt,” the dad continues. My second oldest graduated early (took summer classes) and we gave him money that he is using for a down payment on a home. If they are doing a five year program, we will pay but if they leave that program for an normal one than it goes back to four.”
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Bella is not speaking to her dad.
Bella has struggled to find her way in college. “Now Bella has changed her major twice already and she is a junior right now. She told us that she is changing her major again,” he goes on to say. “I reminded her we are only paying for four years. This is we’re we got in an argument, she is upset that we won’t pay even though we have the cash. My argument we told her before and we aren’t changing how we do it. By the end of it she called me an unsupportive parent/jerk and having her go into debt for pursuing her passion.” He ends his story asking if he was wrong for sticking to his guns.
File this under dad's always right.
Most on the Reddit AITA forum agree this dad is not wrong. He is trying to teach his daughter some valuable life lessons. The fact that he is paying his kids way through college is an enormous gift.
Bella should be thankful.
"You're providing a great opportunity for your children, but that opportunity shouldn't be confused with ‘limitless choices,’" writes one user. "She's a junior, she should be surrounded by people having problems making rent, people having to work two jobs or juggle children, she should be in the perfect space to be aware of her great luck."
What about a loan?
Some users think the dad could get more curious about his daughter’s situation and see if there is more common ground to work together on the problem.
“She really should meet with an academic advisor,” advises one user. “What career path is she pursuing? She should be starting internships this year. Sounds like she needs some guidance. Maybe you can make that a goal. She meets with advisor comes up with a plan for graduating & you will potentially consider giving her a loan. She can then pay you back without interest.”
What about a pause?
Another user has some different advice: “I think an argument can be made if she is so unsure about what to study maybe its best she comes back to it later in life. There is no logical reason to waste money and time studying for something 1. you might not finish or 2. might not pursue after graduating.”
Sometimes you have to be the bad guy as a parent.
Parenting is hard. This dad is doing right by his children even if Bella cannot see it at the moment. Let’s hope with time she will come to value her parent’s generosity and life lessons.
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