If you acquired a lot of money but didn't really need it, what would you do? One man who was left a lot of money from his dad acknowledges that he could give some of the money to his dad's girlfriend — but he just doesn't want to do that.
In a Reddit post, the 33-year-old man explained that he didn't have a good relationship with his dad. His dad left the family for his new girlfriend when the son was 12 years old. He also described his dad as "extremely abusive" and "emotionally distant." When his dad died, he left everything to him and not his girlfriend, despite being with her for 20 years.
The man doesn't need the money.
The man said that he didn't grow up with money. His mom "had not been in the workforce for 15 years, was a first gen immigrant, and was making 20k a year after my dad left us." But she worked hard, he explained, and eventually made a lot of money. The man said he attended an Ivy League school and went on to work in finance, making $180K.
The dad's girlfriend definitely does need money.
The dad's girlfriend doesn't come from money either, and she could really use some help. The man alleged that his dad's girlfriend still doesn't really have money even though his dad covered expenses during the time that they were together. He also noted that the girlfriend already judged him for having money.
"She always trashed me for (having money). Saying I was just a dumb kid and I didn’t deserve any of it," he wrote. The man also noted that his dad's girlfriend was never nice to him. As a kid, she wouldn't say anything to him and she heard him saying negative things about him when she thought he couldn't hear her.
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The son got all of the money from his dad.
The man emphasized that his dad left everything to him. "I am specifically listed as the beneficiary of his accounts. I have sole access to all of my dad’s accounts now, and was explicitly told the money would be mine by him," he explained.
The dad's girlfriend told him she needs the money.
Although it seems that the dad made a decision to not leave anything to his girlfriend, she still thinks that the son should share the money with her. "She is telling me she was with him for 20 years, I’m a bad son, I don’t need the money, etc.," he wrote.
He admitted that while he doesn't need the money, he could give it to his mom since she has had a hard life.
He said he's not judgmental but...
When describing his dad's girlfriend's financial situation, he called her family "trashy." He claimed that he's not one to judge people for "systemic poverty," but he thinks the girlfriend's family just hasn't worked hard. Plus, he doesn't appreciate how the girlfriend has judged him for having money.
He asked the Reddit community if keeping the inheritance when he doesn't need it makes him a bad person.
It's for sure his money, some say, but he is judgmental.
Most Redditors agreed that the man is entitled to the money. After all, his dad left it to him, and not his girlfriend. Does that mean the man is being kind though? Some wanted to point out that the man is being petty and rude even though some of them believe it is justified.
One Redditor told the man to do what he wants with the money. But the Redditor thinks that the man is judgmental despite his claims that he is not.
Another Redditor pointed out that although giving the girlfriend some money would be nice, it's completely unnecessary.
"Would it be nice of you to give it to her – or even some – it sure would," the Redditor wrote. "Saintly, in my book. You're N TA for keeping it though. Why would you just randomly hand out huge chunks of cash to a woman that didn't even like you? It's not like you had a great relationship to fall back on."
Giving the money to his mom seems like a better idea to many.
Several Redditors like the idea of using the money to help his mom out.
"I love the idea of you giving it to your mom," one Redditor commented. "She's a BOSS! Good for her for picking herself up and making something awesome while raising you guys."
Rather than give the money to the dad's girlfriend, another Redditor gave him several other ideas: "Set up your mum for a fantastic retirement. Go on a holiday on dear old dad. Donate some and make someone else's day. It is yours to do as you see fit. Dad had 20 years to put his gf as his beneficiary. He didn't."
If the dad wanted the girlfriend to have the money, he would've given it to her.
The answer is clear for many Redditors: If the dad wanted his girlfriend to have the money, he would've given it to her.
"If he has listed you as the beneficiary, that’s the end of any discussion," one Redditor responded. "If he wanted her to have it, he should have listed her. There may have been reasons that he listed you and not her that you don’t know. Maybe he felt guilty about how he treated you, who knows. It doesn’t matter if you need it or not."
Another Redditor added that the girlfriend could've tried to have a better relationship with her partner's son, but she never did.
"Choices were made by your Dad and his new gf," the Redditor pointed out. "She could have been nice to you and made an effort to have a good relationship with you. And your Dad chose to give you his money and not her."
It's the man's money (but maybe use some of it for therapy).
The majority of Redditors agreed that the money clearly belongs to this man — but some noticed that he obviously still has a lot of negative feelings that he hasn't worked through. They recommended using some of the money to go to therapy.
"Spend it on your mother, live your best life but get some therapy so you’re not carrying a grudge," one Redditor wrote.
"That money is yours," another Redditor commented. "Your post shows a great deal of resentment, though. I don't think you are a very happy person. Spend some of that money wisely. Get yourself some therapy. Please do not take offence at this suggestion. Most people could really do with some therapy in my opinion, but your father and his gf made your early life very difficult, and I think you need therapy to work through your anger and become a happier person."
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