Monyay Paskalides has been in and out of group foster homes for a significant part of her life. Now 19, she knew that it would be a completely different world on her own when she aged out of the system. When she turned 18, she realized that she'd mostly have to depend on herself to get by.
Luckily, Monyay has a wonderful head on her shoulders. She graduated a year early and has plenty of hopes and dreams for her future. And those are traits that her old caseworker, Leah Paskalides, had noticed about her all along.
Leah is 32 and first met Monyay six years ago when she worked at the Safe Children Coalition. Back then, Leah surely didn't think that one day, she'd be Monyay's mother.
"It was really hard going from being in a group home with an adult to help you to immediately being by yourself without an adult to help," Monyay told Good Morning America. "It was lonely." But luckily, Monyay's situation worked out.
Monyay has referred to Leah as "mom" for years, but being able to make it official is a big deal. Leah felt a connection with Monyay when they first met that never went away. "I met her, and I saw a lot of myself in her," Leah said. "Once she trusted me, we just clicked."
Leah was Monyay's caseworker for three years. When that ended, she stayed in Monyay's life by becoming her mentor. When Monyay turned 17, Leah noticed a big change. "Around their 17th birthday, our independent living team starts talking with [kids in the foster care system] about what their options are when they turn 18," she explained. "I hated watching [Monyay] feel like she was neglected in the state's eyes."
Not finding a family for so long is also personally quite tough for those in the system. That made Leah more of a trusted friend for Monyay. Leah would have adopted her sooner if she could. Since she was a caseworker, she was told it would be a conflict of interest.
According to Fox 13, Monyay was put into foster care at the age of 11, in a group home. She longed for an actual mother, but she didn't have the opportunity until now. "Being told 'no' so many times, to hear that 'yes' and to hear them pronounce her as my mom, it’s something that’s like, oh my gosh, this is for real," she said.
Monyay does admit that the two didn't initially hit it off, but that has a lot to do with the cards Monyay was dealt. "She told me what she was going to be doing and helping me out with my case, and I didn't like her; she'll tell you that," Monyay told WFTS of Sarasota, Florida, per EURweb.
Lead saw what made Monyay so special. And she was elated to learn that having Monyay age up didn't mean that adoption wasn't possible. "It was important to me that she knew that she was wanted by somebody, that somebody loved her," Leah said. "I could say that as many times as I want, but actions speak louder than words."
Monyay said that her senior year of high school was when it really hit her that she was going through life alone. "My senior year is when I went through one of those, 'I don't want to do it anymore, I'm done' … and she said, 'I got you,'" Monyay said. And that was the moment that things really clicked.
With a new job and a little bit of knowledge based on a documentary she saw about adult adoption, Leah reportedly had the idea. So she talked to Monyay about it. "I told her that I saw it and asked if it was something she would want, and she said yes," Leah said.
"I wanted to make sure she knew that she had somebody who loved her and who would have done this years ago and still would as an adult," she added. "We're so happy; we both wanted this for so long." It's a new beginning for both of them. And even though they only have a 13-year age difference, it's still a wonderful arrangement.
They both know that they have an incredible story to share. And they're out to promote adult adoption further. Just because someone is a legal adult doesn't mean that they don't still long for a mother or father figure. Having someone adopt Monyay who's known her personally for so long almost makes the milestone moment worth the wait.
The two have some great ideas for their next steps. Monyay is interested in one day running her own group home for teens, as she knows the experience quite well. She's hoping more older teens and adults get the same adoption moment as she did. And even though hers was done digitally by Zoom, it was quite special.
Monyay's continuous optimism is uplifting. "It's never too late because I'm grown but I’m still being adopted," she said. "Just because it didn't happen then it doesn't mean that it won't happen." The fact that Leah is such an ideal match is further proof that this was meant to be.
As Leah told Good Morning America, the moment was very powerful for her as well. "We were always close, but now when she calls me, it means something even more to her," Leah said. "It's legal, and that means the world to her, because for so long she didn't really have a mom." Plus, as she added, her own family is thrilled. "My 90-year-old grandmother called me and said she's so happy to be a great-grandmother," Leah said. "She said she didn't think she’d live to see the day."
