Every parent can relate to feeling like you're your kid's least favorite person.
It's a tough balancing act to be the one disciplining your son and daughter and also the person they look up to and love more than anyone in the world. Seeing the strong bond that another child might have with their own parent can leave even the most confident mom or dad feeling a bit shaken.
But what about when the parent you're jealous of is your child's other parent — your own spouse or partner?
Sometimes, it's tough to bond with your kid. This is something that can happen with moms and dads alike, though there is the not-always-accurate belief that mothers "instantly" bond with their babies.
Terence Mentor is a father who opened up about what it's like to struggle with the idea that your child seemingly "prefers" the parent who isn't you — and the beautiful feeling when that all begins to change.
Scroll through to read what Terence had to say about parenting jealousy!
Thumbnail Photo: Facebook / Afro Daddy
Terence is a South African dad blogger who writes and operates a YouTube channel under the moniker AfroDaddy.
Terence has two sons with his wife Julie. He affectionately refers to his youngest boy, 2-year-old Eli, as "Boy 2.0" in his Facebook posts.
In one particularly emotional Facebook post, Terence opened up about his initial struggle to bond with Eli, who shared a very close bond with Julie right off the bat.
The post has since gained attention from other parents (including moms) who have been on both Terence's side and Julie's, as both the "rejected" and "preferred" parent.
Terence writes:
Something magical happened last night.
But before I tell you what it was, you need a bit of background:
Ever since my youngest, Boy2.0, was born, he was totally his mother's child. I honestly found their immediate and intense connection beautiful, but even more honestly…it made me jealous.
It is quite a thing to be a dad who can't comfort his child, who is constantly told "No, I go to mommy," who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his own son.
I know, I know. It's silly and childish but the jealousy was real and disheartening.
But then something started to change over last few months. Boy2.0 started not just being okay being with me, but occasionally would actually choose me over mommy!
Maybe this shouldn't have made me as happy as it did.
Anyway, this trend has continued — and then last night, while he was asleep on his mother's chest (the only place he has always found comfort for the last two years), he got up and, still asleep, cuddled into me.
This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for his comfort and calm.
Not going to lie…I got a little teary eyed.
Is there a lesson here? Yeah — being a dad is hard, but every bit of emotional and physically energy that you use can be repaid to you in an instant.
So maybe you are a parent going through what I have been going through. Keep going. Keep pushing. It will be worth it.
And while you are going through the struggle, remember that you have a community of friends right here who are ready to support you!
"All my son did what shift from his mom’s bosom to my lap in his sleep, but it felt profound to me," Terence explained to Babble. "Heart-swelling is probably the best way to describe the feeling. Pride too, because he actually chose me, and also a whole lot of relief that we had turned a corner together."
This is such a sweet story, and Terence's message is so important. The bonds between a child and mom and a child and dad might be different, but both are equally special.
Have you ever experienced something like this in your own parenting life?
If you love what Terence had to say, don't forget to SHARE this story on Facebook!
