Love is in the air, and a global health crisis can’t stop folks from celebrating Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, most Valentine’s Day gift guides don’t stop folks from also celebrating heteronormativity. Being queer on Valentine’s Day can feel even more exclusive than the regular lack of inclusion we feel on all of the other days of the year; the idea that gifts are for him or her also leaves out the amazing nonbinary, gender-fluid, and gender-nonconforming folks in your life. While any product or experience can be for any gender, I want to help you think outside of the binary when it comes to showing your romantic interest, kiddo, or bestie some affection on Valentine’s Day.
Here are some fun DIY, thoughtful, and inexpensive gift ideas that have nothing to do with your valentine’s gender.
Plants
$11.47
from
FloridaPlantsGardens on Etsy
Giving someone flowers that will die quickly feels kind of too metaphorical right now. I realize that anyone can kill a houseplant, but the potential of keeping a succulent or any other potted plant alive seems like the hope we all need right now. Plants literally make it easier to breathe, make people happier, and are reminders of the person who gave them to us.
Socks
$15
from
BriteLiteDyed on Etsy
Socks are super fun, they can be personalized, and you can get a pair too and be matchy-matchy with your loved one. This works with pajamas and undies too! And if matchy-matchy doesn’t say sickly sweet love, then I don’t know what does.
Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, Macha …
$5.75
from
ALLSPICEEMPORIUM on Etsy
Buy your loved one whatever they love to sip on. And if you can hand them a mug of their favorite beverage and then take a walk together, you have secured some lovely quality time.
Photo Book
Send your photos to an online photo center and create a photo book or collage. Add dates, captions, or quotes to help you and your loved one remember the details of special moments together. Or print out a bunch of photos and do it the old-fashioned way by making a scrapbook.
Various prices based on customization.
Donate to Their Favorite Cause
Few things say "I love you" more than telling someone you care about the things they care about. It also shows you pay attention and know what’s important to them. You don’t have to throw a lot of money to any particular organization; your gesture will be worth so much more.
Magnets
My kids and I love these DIY magnet kits from Amazon. Cut up magazines, photos, or letters that spell out messages to send personalized magnets to your valentine. You could even turn it into a DIY story or poem gift set.
Books
$25
from
SwartzBrothersArt on Etsy
Buy an adult coloring book from a locally owned book shop if you can, or send an audio or e-book to your favorite book lover. Throw in a book light or new set of headphones too. Few things are sexier than learning about how to be an anti-racist and ally to marginalized folks, so start in the social justice section to sweep them off their feet.
Playlists
Mixtapes may no longer be possible, but you can totally make a list of love songs or songs that remind you of your person. If music isn’t your jam, find some podcasts or Ted Talks and compile a playlist of "best of" listening. Mix in topics that interest you and ones that you know the recipient will enjoy. This helps both of you get to know each other better and provides some conversation starters.
Fire Pit
Light their fire with an actual fire. Distance, health, or the cold weather can make it hard to get toasty with your favorite person or people. Bring heat to the relationship with a wood- or gas-burning fire pit; this will allow you to safely socialize outside with your loved one while staying warm. And if you can’t give your partner or best friend a warm hug because of distance, you can still give them the flames of your love in the form of fire.
Zoom Date
The virus has made any kind of get-together complicated, if not unsafe — dating included. Thankfully, there are a lot of great ways to still enjoy experiences with your love — or person with potential — even if you aren’t in the same room. There are online paint-and-sips, cooking classes, and escape rooms you can purchase that allow you to benefit from an activity versus a material gift. Instructors have found really creative ways to keep their students engaged. It may take a little extra work to gather some ingredients or supplies on your own, but surprising someone with an online class you can do together is a great way to spend Valentine’s Day.
People and the gifts you give them are about so much more than gender — gifts should be about thoughtfulness and kindness and not stereotypes and expectations around gender roles. When it comes Valentine’s Day or any day of the year, love doesn’t care about gender; the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes the heart really wants a product that doesn’t shove them into a box that is lined with biases.
Psst: If you choose to purchase an item on this list, LittleThings may receive a small cut. Each item and price is up to date at the time of publication; however, an item may be sold out or the price may be different at a later date.
