Hillary Clinton filmed and released a documentary about her life for the streaming network Hulu in 2020. The documentary spans her entire life, and, as you might imagine, there's a lot to cover.
One big topic that is inevitably addressed is the affair that her husband had with Monica Lewinsky between 1995 and 1997. Her husband was president of the United States at the time, and Monica was a young intern in the White House.
Hillary said that deciding to discuss the affair was hard but also that it had to happen. "It was [tough to relive]. Once I agreed to cooperate, the director said, 'Well, we're going to talk about everything,' and I said, 'OK,' and yet when it actually came time, yeah, it's hard."
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She also added, "It was a really emotionally draining experience to go through it again. But I have to say, once I saw the whole four hours of the documentary, I hope that our talking about this, my willingness to address all of this, really does help other people. There are lessons."
She went on to say, "There are lessons from my life, our times. People need to be thoughtful about the decisions they make in their own lives. And we should be kinder and more supportive to everybody who makes the best decisions they think they can make." And this is a great point: Whatever you think about Hillary, she's still a human who is doing what she thinks is the best thing to do.
She said she understood why a lot of women at the time (and since) have disagreed with her decision to stay married: "A lot of the women would say, 'I just can't support her. I don't like her because she stayed with her husband.' And they would say, 'OK, why is that?' And people would talk, but pretty soon they would say, 'You know, that happened to my sister. That happened to my friend.'"
"I always said everybody needs to make the best decision for you and your family, and toward the end of the film, one of the people who's both a friend and worked in my campaigns said, 'You know, it's such a strange conversation, because some of the very same people who would say, "I could never support her," would say, literally in the next breath, "But I love her husband."' Well, I do too."
And in the documentary, this period of time is generally painted more as a family drama and less as a political event that rocked the nation. Hillary also explained, "I was just devastated. I just could not believe it. I was just so personally hurt and, 'I can't believe this. I can't believe you lied.' It was — anyways, horrible."
She also told her husband that it would be up to him to tell their daughter, who was 18 when the allegations of the affair surfaced publicly. "And I said, 'If this is going to be public, you've got to go tell Chelsea.'"
Hillary also said that their daughter was the force who worked hard to keep them together. She talked about a photo of the three of them in which Chelsea is standing between them, fiercely clutching each of their hands. "That was not anything other than her just trying to keep us together. When she did that, 'Oh my gosh,' I thought, 'That's just so incredible — so strong and so wise.'"
Impeachment proceedings were introduced as a result of the affair becoming public knowledge, and Hillary explained that she stood by her husband throughout the trial because she believed it was wrong to address what she considered a personal matter in a public way. "I defended and stood by him because I thought the impeachment process was wrong, but that wasn't the necessary answer to what I would do with my marriage."
She went on to say that to her, it just wasn't the right answer. "It was not — to me — the same. I still had to decide whether I wanted to stay in the marriage, whether I thought it was worth saving."
And while this perspective is valuable and interesting, it's definitely divisive. It's hard to say what really is and isn't worth public debate when it's on that kind of scale.
Throughout the years, Hillary's husband has offered various explanations about why he had the affair, but few have satisfied anyone. "It's … you feel like you're staggering around," her husband has said. "You've been in a 15-round prize fight that's been extended to 30 rounds and here's something that will take your mind off it for a while. Everybody's life has pressures and disappointments, terrors and fears of whatever. Things I did to manage my anxieties for years — I'm a totally different person than I was."
For her part, Monica Lewinksy has frequently maintained that their relationship was consensual but also a "gross abuse of power." She was 22 when the details of the affair surfaced, and she went through a horrendous amount of abuse from the press at the time. She told Vanity Fair, "Any 'abuse' came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position." She added that she had a "limited understanding of the consequences" and that she regrets the relationship frequently.
In the end, the topic is one that all the key players will likely have to wrestle with for the rest of their lives, particularly the two women at the heart of it. Both Hillary Clinton and Monica Lewinsky have had to repeatedly define what their lives are, for themselves and for others, lest other people do the defining for them.
