Not too long ago, it was frowned upon for couples to live together without being married. This is still the case in many cultures.
Today in the United States, though, it's perfectly normal for couples to live with one another before tying the knot. NPR reports that more than 65% of first marriages start with the couple already living together!
This makes complete sense: not only is it emotionally satisfying to live with a partner, it's also practical.
My favorite thing to do after a long, stressful day is to be home with my boyfriend and dog. They immediately help me destress, relax, and unwind.
We've been living together for two-and-a-half years, and I can't imagine it any other way.
Plus, in today's economy, splitting the bills with someone is hugely beneficial. Living comfortably today is hard enough as it is, so being able to share the cost of things with a partner can help ease the financial burden.
But financial and emotional reasons aside, living together can give you invaluable insights into the person you might eventually marry.
Photo: Flickr / Steven Depolo
When you exchange rings with someone, you agree to take them at their best and at their worst — but do you know what their worst is?
If you've ever lived with a roommate, you know how challenging it can be if you don't have similar lifestyles. Now imagine that your roommate is your partner, and you're trying to balance a romantic relationship with cohabitation.
Living together allows you to find out whether you're compatible as roommates.
My boyfriend and I moved in together a year-and-a-half into our relationship.
We met in college and had a mainly long-distance relationship until I graduated. He was in law school, and I was jobless and moving to a new city, so living together was the only thing that made sense.
Not only was it the easiest for practical reasons, it also seemed like a good step forward in our relationship.
We've learned so much about each other that we never would have figured out had we not lived together.
For example, I never would have known that I'd have the bed to myself almost every night because our sleep habits are so different. And he would never have realized how much I hate folding laundry.
And no, spending the night or staying over for a weekend won't teach you all of these things.
When my boyfriend and I were long distance, I made sure to make each visit special. I'd clean up, make myself look nice, come up with plans for us. It wasn't the same as living real life with the daily grind of work, school, and housework.
Sure, we may have gotten a glimpse of these aspects of life, but it was very different from experiencing it on a daily basis.
When I hear about people getting married without living together, I feel worried for them.
There are tons of things you don't know about your partner before you live with them — and what if they're deal breakers?
I always invite friends and family from out of town to stay over at our place, and if my boyfriend hated that, it would have been a problem for us.
What if there's something about your partner's living habits that really don't work for you, but you've already said "I do." The last thing you want is to end up resenting your new wife or husband!
What if he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink all the time? What if she falls asleep on the couch every night? What if he's always late with the rent? What if she's always spending time with her friends and is never home?
These might seem like small things, but they add up.
And this isn't even considering the bigger issues that might arise. What if you expect your partner to share an equal amount of the housework, and they don't follow through?
What if you think you should split the rent evenly, but your partner thinks it should be based on who makes more money?
These are serious conversations most people don't think about having until they live together, and they can cause rifts if you're not on the same page.
Living together before marriage also allows you to work on serious conflict resolution. Issues come up all the time when you're cohabitating, and being together all the time forces you to deal with those problems.
Of course, it's not like you can't learn these things after getting married, but it can help you learn if you're with the right person before committing to them longterm.
In the end, living together allows you to learn more about the other person and the intricacies of your relationship before you decide if marriage is the right step.
What do you think about living together before marriage?
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Photo: Pexels / Min An
