Everyone has a lot of opinions when it comes to raising kids, and when you're a new parent, you'll probably hear a lot of them. No two babies are the same, and as a result, nor are any two parenting experiences.
Moms deal with enough outside pressure, feedback, and, quite honestly, judgment. Ideally, you want your partner to have your back always. Such was not the case for one couple, leading the woman to ask Reddit who was in the wrong.
The mom of a 10-month-old explained that her daughter had started biting while breastfeeding. It's led to some disruptions, and as a result, she's had to supplement with formula. It wasn't her ideal situation, but she was surprised to discover how adamantly opposed her husband was. He was so displeased that he took matters into his own hands in what many moms saw as an outrageous adult tantrum where he was critical of his breastfeeding partner.
Breastfeeding can be a beautiful and special connection between mom and child in the most tender of moments. That said, many women don't find their whole breastfeeding experience to be that pleasant.
This woman took to Reddit to share how she was dealing with breastfeeding her daughter, who recently started biting.
"My daughter, 10 months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding. When she starts to bite, I simply tell her 'no' and put her down immediately," she said.
"I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone- I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore."
"Instead I've been pumping, but even that is extremely painful until I let my breasts heal. Instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula," she explains.
"My husband does not like this. He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula."
The original poster (OP) explains that her husband doesn't want his baby eating something that's not "natural." She noted, "At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day."
When OP kept doing what was working for her and her baby, her husband decided to take more drastic action himself:
"It reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have 'no choice' but to breastfeed our daughter."
"I ask him why he's doing this, and he simply says he doesn't think I'm not trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me," OP shared.
"And that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain."
OP was worried she was being selfish, but other moms quickly came to her defense and said she was doing the right thing.
"This is just plain awful, there's no mincing words, no other way to put it. How [expletive] dare he. I am filled with righteous indignation on your behalf," one person wrote.
"A good husband wouldn't gaslight his wife into thinking that she is somehow doing her child wrong by making certain her child gets the nutrients she needs while make certain that her own body isn't relegated to the status of a chew toy. I don't even know you and I'm FUMING.
"NTA and I'm sorry but if my husband did this to me (hid formula to try to force me to breast feed; doubled down by accusing me of being a bad mother if I didn't follow his command) I would tell him I'd see the formula back immediately, or I'd see him in court."
A dad even offered this perspective. "My daughter had a very bad and undiagnosed tongue tie in her first month. She could have died from malnutrition if I decided to hide the formula, because she just couldn't latch onto breasts as easily," he wrote.
"Also, mixed feeding was lovely, because I got to participate in it as a man. Night feeds are one of my most cherished memories. This breast milk zeal needs to simmer the [expletive] down. Kids growing up in the 80s were fed far worse [expletive] than formula."
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