Yeong-Shin Ma lived in what's known as a "kangaroo tribe." The growing phenomenon sees young adults living with their parents to save money. The arrangement usually ends with a child getting married and moving out. In the South Korean cartoonist's case, he lived with his mom, Soyeon, until he was nearly 30.
"I never had a good relationship with my mom," he told The Guardian. "But deep inside, we've always felt sorry for each other."
Like many young adults living at home, Yeong-Shin felt nagged by his mom's endless requests. It wasn't until he moved out that he understood what it was really about. She was trying to impart to him the life skills he would need to be on his own. He quickly realized he'd absorbed practically nothing.
With that, Yeong-Shin gave his mom a blank notebook. He asked her to fill it with everything to know about her daily life, in her most truthful terms. She returned the notebook to him less than a month later. What he read became the basis for his first graphic novel, Moms.
Yeong-Shin Ma couldn't wait to move out of his mom's house. At nearly 30 years old, he finally achieved his goal, only to realize he'd never absorbed any of the knowledge his mom had tried to bestow on him through what he perceived as "nagging."
"I was almost 30, but all I knew how to do was say the right thing and spout a political opinion. I had no idea how difficult and frustrating basic household tasks could be," he told The Guardian.
"As I learned to properly clean the bathroom, cook, and do my taxes — tasks that should have been as natural as breathing — I decided to write an honest confession."
It was while doing these thankless tasks that he developed a desire to understand his mom. Yeong-Shin gave his mom a blank notebook and told her to fill it with the truths of her everyday life. She gave it back full less than a month later. He discovered it was "at once a confession and letter to her son."
"I knew she could be quite daring, so I can't say I was surprised by what she wrote. However, the drama of middle-aged love was a lot more intense than I expected," he said.
"As time passed, though, I couldn't help but be in awe of my mother, who'd written her story with such honesty at her son's request."
As he read through, he started seeing his mother and her friends as more than he had before. Korean moms were often seen as "confined to the role of the nameless mother, who sacrifices herself day in, day out." When he realized how dynamic and interesting the truth was, he got to work on his debut graphic novel, Moms.
"This side of middle-aged women isn't usually covered in movies or K-dramas. It was exciting to read my mother's notebook of how these women let loose and have fun," Yeong-Shin said.
"I never set out to challenge conservative mores. I tend to get bored by the status quo."
The book first came out in South Korea in 2015. Yeong-Shin's mom, whom the title character is named after, was both horrified and fascinated by what she read.
"She read it in one sitting, shaking the entire time. She read it again and again," he said.
"But she couldn't show it to any of her friends. She's embarrassed by the book because it goes into such explicit detail."
In the book, Soyeon, a divorcée, lives with her youngest son. Soyeon navigates dating and her friendships with other single, middle-aged Korean women. She flashes back and forth through her life, wondering if anything could have changed her fate.
Yeong-Shin has gone on to pen 15 books. This is his first being translated into English, with the translation by Janet Hong. He's found that his method of giving an individual a blank notebook has been effective for other books as well.
"They usually jump at the chance, and I find there are many more lively expressions and words I can glean from their notes than I'd originally thought," he said.
"People often want to publish their autobiographies, out of a desire for their stories to be heard and understood," he writes in the endnote of Moms. He continues with a touching note about his own relationship with his mom.
"In that regard, I wonder if this is my first act of devotion to my mom, if, perhaps for the very first time in my life, I'm being a good son."
Does his mom have more stories in store for him? Yeong-Shin thinks so. She texts him more often, telling him about her life, her boyfriend, and more.
"Even now, my mother sometimes texts me things about her boyfriend or what happened at work," he says.
"One day, I plan to write a story about her later years."
