TV and movies have really warped our perceptions of sex. It’s intimated that sex should last for “hours” between couples, and frankly, it’s unfair. In order to determine what is more “normal” and how long it takes for both parties to get the best out of the intimate experience, researchers have studied real data.
In 2020, researchers published a study that collected data from 645 women with an average age of about 30 years old from various countries. They first asked participants to answer a questionnaire focusing on issues related to the time it takes for them to orgasm, and a stopwatch was used to literally record the time it took to climax. Of the 645 participants, 17% claimed to have never orgasmed before in their lives.
The end result revealed that in the sample of women who were in monogamous, stable, heterosexual relationships, time to orgasm, or TitOr, averaged around 13.41 minutes. It also noted what it took to get there.
“Additional sexual activities such as kissing, passionate licking of specific parts of the body, nipple sucking, clitoral rubbing, and so on are associated with shorter TitOr than penovaginal intercourse alone,” the study concluded. “Certain positions during sexual intercourse affect the TitOr, and the woman-on-top position is reported to be the best position.”
Another study conducted by SaucyDates determined that both male and female expectations for sex to last is about 25 minutes, but neither are reaching this time limit at all.
Infographic courtesy of Saucydates.com
Personally, I think the obsession with time is a little silly. This may be the exhausted mom in me talking, but who cares how long it takes so long as you get there and everyone has a good time?
“Normal” is a really weird construct, considering so many of us have unique genetic makeups, preferences, and needs. Heck, what we each consider sex is even loosely defined.
For me, the duration starts from the minute foreplay begins to the moment we officially stop. So long as each partner is prioritizing each other’s pleasure, the time it takes is really irrelevant.
