Oh, Valentine's Day. It's one of those holidays that almost begs us to put on a public declaration of love. After all, that's the point … right? Well, what do you do if it's Valentine's Day but you and your partner aren't getting along? Maybe you had a bad fight the week before and everything isn't settled yet. Maybe you're going through something tough and there's no end in sight. Or maybe you just woke up in a mood and that's how it's going to be. I get it! But you will probably still feel like you need to produce a Valentine's Day gift. At least something.
You definitely don't want to get your partner a bad Valentine's Day gift, and if all you can think of is something that probably won't go over well (or an appliance — who wants an appliance on Valentine's Day? I do not), maybe err on the side of caution and just get a nice card and some candy.
If you're determined to get something, here are a few ideas:
1. Get a gift you would give anytime.
The thing a lot of us do on Valentine's Day is to give a gift that is all lovey-dovey and shows how much we love our partner, right? Well, if you're in a rough patch, you probably aren't feeling like a real-life heart-eye emoji. So go ahead and buy something that you would get your partner any time of the year, not just something that screams, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AREN'T YOU HAPPY WE ARE TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW."
Suggestions: An easy-peasy coffee mug, a Bluetooth portable speaker, or personalized wooden sunglasses.
2. Give a utilitarian gift.
I know I said no appliances (and I mean it), but I think under the right circumstances, giving a gift that your partner actually needs can be thoughtful with a side of "Don't think this doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." It's a great way to communicate that you obviously still care about your partner without being mushy.
Suggestions: Scarves are always lovely, especially if your partner actually wears them.
3. Give a gift that shows you aren't quitting.
If you're mad but you know that you're not so mad you're leaving the relationship, consider giving a gift that shows you are still invested and want to make things work. Something like Love Yours: 365 Days of Q & A could be the perfect thing to help you both work on what matters to you.
4. Give a gift about the kids.
OK: If you have kids (human or fur!), make your gift about … them. You could do anything from framing a photo of everyone together and having them decorate the frame with hand or paw prints to finding a gift that is explicitly parent-themed. This idea is great because you're still showing that you care, you are just also deflecting attention away from your marriage to the other role that your partner probably loves: parenthood.
5. Give a classic gift.
Listen: The reason the classics still work is simply that … they do! If you're really not sure what to give your partner this year but you want to do something, flowers and candy can really go a long way. That goes for people who are partnered with men — they love getting flowers, too.
