Woman Loses Both Her Husband And Son To Sudden Death Syndrome 8 Years Apart

Hayley recalls having taken the boys to school and stopping back home to grab her lunch, only to find her husband "vacantly standing by the window looking up at something I couldn’t see. Then he collapsed in front of me, mutely staring into my eyes as I crouched over him in sheer panic."

Minutes after arriving at the hospital, the doctors told her his heart had failed and there was nothing they could do to save him.

"A post-mortem confirmed that there was nothing wrong with Alden’s heart, but sudden cardiac arrest can happen when the heart suddenly stops pumping blood around the body," Hayley explained. "If someone cannot be resuscitated, then it’s known as sudden cardiac death because there has been a cardiac trigger, such as a change in heart rhythm that caused the arrest. Sometimes the cause of this is known, or in Alden’s case, unknown. He was unlucky. A freak incident, the doctors said."

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While her youngest son, Carter, wasn't old enough to understand his dad's death yet, Hayley's eldest, Myles, was badly affected by the loss of his father.

"Myles was a sporty child, always winning school awards and getting praise for his lovely manners and character. But he suffered awful anxiety worrying about everything — his schoolwork, burglars, fairground rides. He had therapy for bereavement and anxiety," she wrote. "I tried reassuring him that what happened to Dad was so rare it was unlikely to happen again. Therapists advise you to not say 'it definitely won’t' because that’s simply not true. We never know what life will bring."

She went on to say that she thought about getting her sons tested, but decided against it because she "didn’t want to cause more fear." At the end of 2022, Hayley had reconnected with an ex-boyfriend, who was a separated father of two at the time.

She says that they "rekindled our love. The boys were happy and I was happy. After a terrible tragedy we had another shot at having a family unit again, along with Nathan’s girls, aged 8 and 5."

"Nathan wanted to help Myles with his worries, and took him on a mental well-being course where they plunged into cold water and talked about fears in a sharing circle," the mother recalled. "Nathan told me that Myles had confided in him: 'I feel I’m going to die young. Please don’t tell Mum, but the robins keep coming to visit me.'"

The birds were something Hayley had used to offer her boys comfort, so whenever they'd see one she'd say that it was their dad watching over them. "After Nathan relayed this, I sat with Myles and explained the robins were supposed to be a way of reassuring, not worrying him."

The mother says that Myles went on to develop a tic, which they were told by his doctor could be due to stress. In 2023, on the anniversary of Alden's death, she found Myles unresponsive.

"I called Myles to wake up that morning. No answer. I went into his bedroom and found him lying face down on the floor by his bed," she recalled. "I thought it was a strange sleeping position and when I lifted his arm to wake him it was just a dead weight."

"A complete sense of déjà-vu overtook me as I [called emergency services] and the call handler talked Nathan through CPR. I phoned my mum. It was exactly like history repeating itself and I felt I’d got trapped in that day in 2015. I kept running to look in my mirror at my face to see if I was actually there, so certain this couldn’t be real. But when Mum arrived, saw Myles and screamed, I knew that this was actually happening."

Myles was put in the intensive care unit upon arriving at the hospital. A CT scan revealed that he had significant swelling on his brain due to lack of oxygen.

"We were told to get Carter back home and I knew then in my heart I was going to lose him. The brain swelling got rapidly worse, his heartbeat was crazy and he was losing fluid," the mom explained. "Carter was distraught seeing his beloved older brother this way. 'Please Mum, can we let him rest in peace?' It was clear there was no hope. Two days later we made the heartbreaking decision to switch off the machine and say goodbye. The postmortem revealed no underlying health conditions. It was 'just' sudden cardiac arrest."

"I have agonised over whether I could have prevented Myles' death. But there is so much about sudden cardiac arrest that doctors just don’t know," the mother wrote. "Carter and I are now being tested to check for genetic links, though this was never raised after Alden’s death. We need to raise more awareness about sudden cardiac death, especially in the young as 12 people under 35 die this way every week. The British Heart Foundation needs funding so more research can be done to understand the causes and find cures."

Hayley went on to explain that she had "no choice" but to find a way to cope through both tragedies. "Nathan and I are getting married this year. Carter says 'I have you and Nathan, but now Dad has Myles to keep him company.' This gives him comfort and my work with young people in education makes me feel closer to Myles. I have to tell myself he’s at peace now, not worrying away. I can’t live my days in fear, I know how short life can be and why we need to make the most of it," she shared.