Before I was a mom, I didn't realize how much free time I had on my hands. On the weekends, watching a whole series in a day on Netflix wasn't that uncommon. And I had no restraints when it came to leaving the house. If I wanted to go to the grocery store, off I went — without a diaper bag or a promise to buy candy at the store.
These moments get taken from us after having kids. They also get taken away from busy women who focus a lot on their careers. Women, in general, are lacking the same amount of "me time" they had years prior. And while it's admirable to work hard and dedicate yourself to your newfound roles, it's not that sustainable.
Having "me time" is essential. But that said, it's something you need to work hard to schedule. It's very easy for moms and career women to put their needs last, so the first step in carving more time out for yourself is actually giving yourself permission to do so. Need help getting started? Here are eight methods to try.
1. Add a Block of 'Me Time' to Your Google Calendar
Or any shared calendar you have, either at work or at home. You don't need to make an excuse for what you need to do during that time and why. It's just simply reserving a block of time to unwind and letting people know about it. If you put it on a shared calendar, you'll be more willing to utilize it. And you can also visualize it better once you see that break alongside other responsibilities.
2. Make a Promise to End Work at a Specific Time
Suppose that time is 6 p.m. What are you going to do if you get a work-related email at 6:30? Easy — don't answer it. Working from home has a ton of pros and cons, but one big con is that you might not realize how many off hours you're putting in. If you feel like you're drowning at work, a firm deadline is important. You need to learn how to walk away and use that time to de-stress.
3. Plan for One Kid-Free Mission Each Week
It could be going to get your hair done, or just a trip to the grocery store. If you're a mom, it's important for you to go out independently once in a while. For single moms, it may be even more hard. If you have family close by, ask if they'd mind stopping in for a few hours while you leave the house. It's really important to have a trip or two where you don't need to worry about someone acting up or someone adding more time to a basic trip. While time out with the kids is nice, everyone deserves to get out solo.
4. Start Reading a Book
Preferably, a tangible book. While Kindles are amazing, it's good to have one less screen to look at. That, plus paper books will make you feel more like you're on vacation. They're also more visible, which may be a better reminder to get a few chapters in.
Reading is a cheap and wonderful way to refocus your brain. It's a good way to put work stress and family stress on the backburner for a bit and treat yourself to a new adventure. Plus, you won't feel bad diving into a book. If you have a newborn at home, books are a good way to be physically present but mentally on break during naptimes.
5. Wake Up Early
It's much easier said than done — especially in the winter, when it's cold outside but nice and warm in your bed. But waking up an hour earlier can be the best thing you've ever done for yourself — especially if everyone in your house is still asleep. Maybe now you can take an even longer shower or get some errands done early. After a few days of early wake-ups, you may actually find that you prefer them over sleeping in.
6. Plan for a Solo Walk on Nice Days
Going on a walk as a family can be a lot of fun. But going on a walk solo is a great time to catch up on your favorite band's latest album or the latest episode of a podcast. Getting some steps in will also help you feel better. Exercise helps boost serotonin, which will make you feel happier.
No matter what, you should make a point to take some walks during the week. Your body will thank you.
7. Meditate for 15 Minutes Every Day
Many meditations are even shorter than this — but with a solid 15, you can really recharge yourself. Have another adult watch the kids, or try to add meditation to your lunch breaks. It's almost like a reset button for your brain, so you may even find yourself to be slightly more logical or creative after the brief session. It's not much, but it's something even the busiest of people can try to fit in.
8. Start a Private Journal
Maybe you haven't kept a journal since you were a child. What's stopping you now? By writing out your feelings, you're bound to rethink a lot of your day's interactions. It'll also help you remember the small moments. Or it may give you some additional perspective. Suppose you had a bad day at work and someone acted short with you. Journaling about it may make you realize whether or not it's a pattern. And if it is, maybe it's affecting you more than you initially realized.
Journaling is also a good way to spend some "me time," since you're not writing for an audience — you're writing simply for yourself. You can also stop and start a journal entry whenever you want, making this one of the most flexible ways to find time for yourself.
