Long-term couples can sometimes fight about the most ridiculous things — and sometimes, those fights can quickly escalate from ridiculous to outrageous. One husband recently shared on Reddit that he and his wife are locked in a battle that might seem silly, but really isn't.
The man begins by explaining that each evening, his wife has a cup of coffee around two hours before bed. He doesn't think she should for a myriad of reasons, but ultimately it's her decision to do so … right?
The husband has been playing armchair doctor.
He shares that his wife has a medical condition that impacts her mobility and that he believes is "probably" hindered by her caffeine intake:
"She has a chronic pain condition which is probably impacted by the caffeine intake, making it harder for her to do routine things, leaving me to pick up the slack."
Her actual doctor disagrees.
"When I've mentioned it, she says her doctor does not believe caffeine intake affects her condition," the husband explains, adding, "that's not really my point, it's more about her overall health being impaired by less restful sleep."
He decided to throw out her coffee.
"This week I decided our household should be coffee-free, and discarded the coffee machine and pods," the husband writes. "I told my wife that if she'd like to drink coffee, she should get one from the cafe on the way to work (this is not a financial hardship, and I rarely drink coffee in the home anyway)."
And he thinks that's OK.
"My wife has been very mad at me for 'policing' a habit she enjoys and considers harmless," he says. "I noticed she has gone to bed more smoothly since the coffee left the home, but as she continues to be angry and short with me, I'm beginning to wonder if I went overboard."
Now he wants to know: Did he make the wrong move?
The verdict: Oh yes, he's wrong.
"You are supposed to be a team," one commenter said. "Making unilateral decisions and treating her like a child like this is ridiculous. Caffeine withdrawals are also sometimes painful, which could make your wife's condition worse. Which may be why she's settling into bed faster, btw."
It almost sounds like he's not even looking at the situation the way he should.
As a commenter noted:
"I also wonder if he realizes that maybe JUST MAYBE her chronic pain affects her sleep as opposed to her caffeine intake?"
There are other things he could have done first.
A commenter added: "If he was concerned about it and thinks he needs to take drastic action the most he should was done was he should have bought her a fancy low caffeine (or decaf) coffee, like the good stuff, maybe don't mention it is lower caffeine, don't hide it just don't point it out."
The real issue might be something else completely.
"Your whole post seems to take issue with the fact that you have to pick up any slack," a commenter noted, "and has zero empathy about if the caffeine or slightly less sleep physically affects her condition."
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