In this consumer-centered society that values spending money, it can be difficult to celebrate special occasions such as birthdays on a budget. One mom found herself in this situation. Her daughter was turning 15 years old, and there was not enough money for a party.
Her daughter was not pleased but did come around to the idea of having a present, a cake, and a nice family dinner. The mom did not like her daughter’s choices for these and imposed more rules, which her daughter did not appreciate or agree with. She ended up leaving with her dad. Mom took to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong.
Birthdays are suppose to be a happy celebration.
Mom broke down the situation: “my daughter is turning 15 in a few days. money is a bit tight so I told her we can't afford a birthday party this year instead we can buy a cake, a gift and go out for dinner. she threw a tantrum over not getting a birthday party but finally got over it.”
Birthdays can be complicated.
Things got complicated when the daughter told her mom what she wanted: “she told me she wants a peanut butter chocolate cake, a tablet and wants to go to an indian restaurant. I told her she is being unreasonable, she knows her brother is allergic to peanut butter, I even offered to buy her a cupcake but she insisted on having a cake so I said fine, you are getting a chocolate cake then.”
More from LittleThings: SC Mom Says She Brings All 5 Of Her Kids To Birthday Parties, Even If Only 1 Gets Invited
Gifts and dinner negotiations.
The mom continued: “we had another argument over the gifts because I can't really afford a tablet so I asked her to choose something else but she wouldn't choose so I bought a new phone case for her then we had another argument. she knows neither me nor any of her siblings eat indian food so I told her we'll go to her favorite fastfood instead.” The daughter was heartbroken over this.
The daughter exited the situation.
The daughter decided to take matters into her own hands: “she threw another tantrum and called me an [expletive] and said 'fine have fun then I'm not coming'. she then called her dad and left with him. Ive been trying to talk to her but the only thing she says is that she is not coming with us and won't talk to me.” The mom wanted to know if she did anything wrong.
The mom is in the wrong here.
Reddit users were happy to weigh in. The main consensus was that the mom was in the wrong here. She did not respect any of her daughter’s wishes and wants, making her birthday more about other people than her.
What about the brother?
“So you said she cannot have a party but
"she can have cake – but not the one she wants
"she can have a gift – but not the one she wants
"she can have a meal out – but not the one she wants
"just wondering if money is just as tight when its her brother's birthday?” asked one user.
More pushback about the brother.
Another user also thought the daughter was being treated unfairly: “she doesn't get the gift, the restaurant or cake of her choice. It's her birthday you could at least let her get one thing she wants. The cake would be the least expensive and you can't even do that for her. Let me guess, her brother is perfect.”
What's your motivation?
One user asked the mother to take a deeper look at her motivations for her actions: “I can fully understand not being able to give her everything she wants. But it also sounds like you're determined to give her absolutely nothing she wants. Why?”
Birthday parties can be done on a budget.
Other users pointed out that a birthday party might actually be the cheaper option. “I don’t understand the part about not being able to afford a birthday party though. All you really need for a party is a cake, some snacks, and friends. Buying some snacks can’t be more expensive than taking your family out to dinner,” pointed out one user.
Here's hoping the daughter and mother can mend fences.
The mom has not responded to Reddit users’ assessment of the situation. One can only hope she sees some of their reasons and is able to make things right with her daughter. You only get one 15th birthday, after all.
