Moms do it all, and sometimes they do too much without the proper support. One mom was at her wit’s end recently and decided to do something about it. She left dad at home with the kids and went out for some girl time.
This girl time ended up being two days. When she returned home, her husband was not pleased. She decided to have the internet weigh in and ask if she was in the wrong here. Cue Reddit. The internet is always happy to give its collective opinion.
The story begins.
“I (24f) have 2 sets of twins first set are 5 years old boys and the second set are 3 year old girls,” this mom begins her post. “My husband (27) always complains that the house isn't up to his standards and that it's a mess or that I sometimes put on frozen meals instead of cooking a fresh dinner. It's super irritating because I'm expected to do everything just because I work from home he thinks that I have it easier then job then his which is physical labor. I can never do anything because when he has time off all he wants to do is sleep and says he needs it because he is exhausted from work or he wants to use his break to hang with his friends.”
The household chores are not evenly divided.
One day she simply had enough. “So basically all the chores are usually thrown on me and I had enough of it and it came to show when my friend called me to hang out and when I asked my husband to watch them so I can go he went into a rant about how he's tired and been working all week and the least I could do is watch the children so that he could get some rest because I'm home all day with easy work. So I decided after I put the children to sleep that night to leave a note saying that I'll be out just leave and have a night out with the girls which ended up turning into a weekend out with the girls,” she continued.
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Her husband was not happy about this.
Her husband was angry about this decision. “When morning time came he was calling and texting me nonstop and when I answered he was yelling at me and cursing me out when my friends overheard the conversation they were shocked and hanged up the phone for me and told me to mute it. I didn't have any plans to stay any longer then that night but when my friends overheard how my husband spoke to me they convinced me to stay and even told me they'd take me out to eat and planned a whole day for me,” she continued.
Now she wonders if she was wrong for leaving.
It was a disaster when she got back home. “When I got back the place was a complete and utter mess like pile full of dishes, garbage all over the place, floors were sticky, there was pee all over the toilet and the place just smelled awful. My husband of course was angry and had a suitcase already packed he barely said 2 words to me and just left and texted me saying he'll be staying at his moms. Now I feel horrible because clearly he couldn't handle taking care of the kids for this long by himself and I feel like an asshole and don't want this to ruin my marriage. Do you all think I'm an [expletive] for the way I acted,” she wonders.
Reddit users weigh in.
Most of the commenters were appalled at the husband’s behavior. “This is not a marriage, it's a joke. He is providing you 0 support and then whining when asked to help at all, or when things aren't perfect. It doesn't matter if your job is easier or not (it's probably not easier just different) he's not entitled to mooch off of you,” advised one user.
Divorce might be her best option.
Many users think she should get out of this relationship. One user quipped she is “basically a single mom already.” Another agreed, saying, “at least if they are divorced she’ll get child support!”
Dissenting opinions are offered.
Some people believe that even though this mom was not wrong for wanting support, she should have gone about it differently. “Leaving for 2 nights with no notice wasn’t the right way to handle this situation,” wrote one user.
“This, it’s the leaving and staying away with no notice that is a problem. This was not the way to handle it, sounds like the kids were neglected all weekend,” agreed another.
Couples counseling is advised.
Many also agree that couples counseling would be beneficial. “They need counseling. And better communication skills,” writes one user.
“I hope you can get counseling or find some other way to improve this dynamic because how he’s treating you isn’t okay,” advises another.
Looks like this couple is going to have to put some work into their marriage if it is to survive this.
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