Even though we have proper names for just about anything and everything on the planet, we often still need to find a way to speak about certain subjects in different and creative ways.
That's where nicknames come in, and I'm not just talking about all of the texting abbreviations of modern-day slang.
Although euphemisms have been around for as long as language, one thing has gotten more than its fair share of nicknames throughout history: the vagina.
It's no mystery that the human anatomy has always been at the forefront of people's minds, which is why we've always come up with ways to reference every part of it. The 17 euphemisms below are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to slang terms for lady parts.
Did you know any of these before? Which of these do you think you might start using? Let us know in the comments, and please SHARE with family and friends on Facebook.
1. "Garden Of Venus," 1701
The garden has been an erotic symbol through the ages, and it can be representative of a female's sexual charm in general or her genitalia specifically. Venus, being the goddess of love, sex, beauty, and fertility, was an obvious choice for the specific name of the garden in this slang term.
2. "Kitchen," 1685
According to Jonathon Green, a career lexicographer (dictionary-maker), the term "kitchen" was first used to refer to the female vagina in 1685. Perhaps it's because that's where things really get cookin'?
3. "Harbor Of Hope," 1695
Green dates this euphemism back to 1695. The term "harbor of hope" would usually have spiritual connotations, as in finding inner peace with God or within one's self. It's not hard to see how folks would have turned that into finding solace with a female.
4. "Bird's Nest," 1595
We've got Shakespeare himself to thank for this one. In Romeo and Juliet, he writes, "I must another way / To fetch a ladder, by the which your love / Must climb a bird's nest soon when it is dark."
5. "Fruitful Vine," 1811
This one is quite logical, as a woman bears "flowers" every month, and will bear "fruit" in nine months' time.
6. "Doodle," 1871
This one lands during the Victorian era, which was notoriously vagina-phobic. It was just another slang term used to distance it from the actual anatomical word.
7. "Lady Jane," 1896
This term was originally coined as a term for the vulva in the 1850s, but Green places it in 1896 as a term for the vagina specifically. It was made more popular by D.H. Lawrence in "Lady Chatterly's Lover" in 1928.
8. "Cupid's Cloister," 1896
In the Dictionary of Euphemisms, "Cupid's cloister" is mentioned along with "Cupid's cave," "Cupid's arbor," "Cupid's corner," and a handful of others. Cupid is the god of desire and erotic love, so it's no mystery why he appears in more than one euphemism for vaginas.
9. "Jelly," 1926
Green places this euphemism at about 1926, during the roaring '20s. This was a great time of change in society, so why not give this anatomical part of a woman's person a name that has to do with a breakfast spread?
10. "Fancy Bit," 1823
To be fair, the vagina and its surrounding parts are probably the fanciest and most amazing bits on the human body, male or female. This euphemism that Green places as right in the middle of the Era of Good Feelings is one of my favorites.
11. "Cauliflower," 1785
This was just one of many greenery terms to be used to address the vagina, along with kale, parsley bed, and cabbage.
12. "Honeypot," 1594
This one doesn't need much explanation — the picture paints itself here, even at the end of the 1500s.
13. "Pulpit," 1656
Surely you can understand why some folks might align the vagina with a place to preach. Clearly, times have not changed all that much since 1656!
14. "Mother Of All Souls," 1788
"Mother Of" terms were very popular in the 18th century, but "mother of all souls" may be my favorite. The vagina is, in fact, where all souls do enter this world, so it definitely makes sense to me.
15. "Pancake," 1902
Right at the beginning of the 20th century, someone decided to switch it up a bit with "pancake," and it stuck for at least a few years.
16. "Mother Of All Masons," 1823
Another "Mother Of" term. Again, all masons did come from a vagina, so yeah, this euphemism does speak some truth.
17. "Petticoat Lane," 1790
The petticoat, being an underskirt, was sure to make an appearance on this list somewhere. Green unearthed this term, which was popular in 1790.
Would you ever call your own lady parts any of these names? I happen to think that some of them are quite clever. I may even adopt a few!
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