Some rules are made to be broken. Others are not. When it comes to dining out, it’s best to err on the side of caution in terms of courtesy and conscientiousness about what you order.
As anyone who has ever worked in the service industry can tell you, a day of waiting tables can either be be a fun and social experience or a soul-sucking nightmare.
It all depends on who sits down at your table.
Back when I waitressed in NYC, I had all sorts of customers. Once I had a guy tell me I was dumb because his burger came out “too well done.” Never mind that he ate 3/4 of it, he wanted to send the last two bites back. Another time I had a group request that I bring them a kettle of boiling water so that they could disinfect their silverware before they ate.
Just… What?!
Here are some handy tips for having the best experience possible in a restaurant the next time you eat out. Did I miss anything? Let us know in the comments – and don’t forget to share this post with all of your friends.
1. Whistle, snap at, or grab your server
Say it with me: Server. Not servant.
2. Reach over the glass
This is the unbreakable "fast casual" rule that should be applied when you're at the Subways and Chopts of the world. The glass is there for a reason. Don't touch food that other people are going to have to eat.
3. Steal your waiter's pen
Just don't do it.
4. Order "secret" menu items
The truth about Starbucks "secret" menu? It doesn't exist. This means the barista is trying out their own concoction on you. No two secret menu items will be alike since the recipes aren't set. This doesn't mean you should never order one, but keep in mind that it may not be the same as the last time you ordered one… So don't send it back.
5. Leave off a tip because you don't agree with your server's lifestyle
It happened to Dayna Morales in Bridgewater, NJ.
"Sorry, I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle and the way you live your life."
This is 100% never okay.
6. Confuse a tip with a tithe
"I give God 10%, why do you get 18%?"
Because servers are paid less than minimum wage with the expectation that they will be tipped between 15%-20% on checks provided they do their job well. That's why. God is good. He wants you to tip and tithe.
7. Multitask
Don't be that guy.
8. Eat the bar nuts
Think about how many grubby little fingers have touched those salty snacks that you're contemplating putting in your mouth. Don't do it.
9. Dump bar fruit in your drink
Unless you feel really good about prep conditions, dumping bar fruit in your vodka soda or vodka tonic is risky business – especially in a dive bar. That little lemon or lime wedge is less than pure.
10. Split the check 800 ways
Annoying, but also a great way to get accidentally overcharged if the restaurant is busy. Use apps like Venmo and pay other members of your party the difference!
11. Hog the bread
There's always that one person who takes more than their share of bread from the communal bread basket. Stop it.
12. Ask for an extraordinary amount of substitutions
The back of house staff (meaning the cooks or the chef) will generally get annoyed with excessive substitutions, unless they're allergy related. Plus, at most fine dining establishments the plate has been built with taste in mind – so substituting asparagus for spinach may actually make the dish taste worse as the flavors of each dish will not "go" with one another
13. Smoke an e-ciggarette
I understand that it's just water vapor, but that doesn't mean the table next to you wants to smell it while they eat. Take it outside, or better yet, don't smoke it at all.
