Col. Edward Thomas Ryan was gay "all [his] life," but chose to wait until after his death to come out. In his obituary, the decorated veteran wrote that he waited to come out as gay because "seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it."
He also apologized for not coming out sooner, writing that he was "afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers." The Army veteran was also a retired firefighter and was an owner and founder of radio station WHRL-FM in Albany, New York, among many other achievements.
At the end of Ryan's obituary, the message from him was included. "I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life," Ryan wrote in his obituary.
Ryan, who lived in Rensselaer, New York, for most of his life, also wrote about the love of his life.
"I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush," he shared.
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"He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul," he continued.
He noted that he's "sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay," and also added that "now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."
Many commented on the online version of the obituary, expressing their support. "You have nothing to apologize for. Thank you for your courage," one person wrote.
Some praised Ryan for his bravery and called him a "true hero."
One person wrote: "We all should choose love not hatred. You are so brave and loving to share your story. May you rest peacefully."
Another responded with: "Thank you for your service, sir. I wish you had gotten to live your truth amongst friends and family. You were a true hero."
Though many thought it was heartbreaking that Ryan felt that he had to keep his identity a secret throughout his life, they also thanked him for sharing his story.
"I am sorry you had to live your life in fear and hiding. But you are an inspiration to thousands of others who just might find the courage to finally come out and live their genuine lives," one person wrote.
"Thank you for your service and the courage to come out," another person wrote. "My husband of 30+ years is also a gay veteran. What a profound message that we are here, we love our country, and are of service to our communities."
Ryan's obituary was published by the Times Union of Albany on June 8, 2024. He died from intestinal cancer at age 85, reported the New York Post.
