A 17-year-old who is seven months pregnant wants to keep her baby — but her mom's mother-in-law thinks she should give the baby to another relative who is dealing with fertility issues. In a Reddit post, a 34-year-old woman explained that she has been married to her husband for 10 years and has two children with him.
She also has a 17-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Her teen daughter is pregnant and wants to have the baby. "I’ve already had the necessary talks with my daughter, but she is dead set on being a mother to this child," the woman explained. But the woman's mother-in-law stepped in and talked to the teen, trying to persuade her to give the baby up.
The teen is trying to save money.
As the woman said, her teen daughter wants to have the baby. To prepare, she and the father, who is still in her life, are trying to save money.
The woman's SIL has been dealing with fertility issues.
The woman's sister-in-law also wants to have a child, but she has been trying for 10 years. She has conceived twice but had miscarriages both times, and has essentially been told that she won't be able to give birth.
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The woman's MIL thinks the teen could give her baby to the SIL.
Even though the woman's daughter wants to have her baby, the woman's mother-in-law has her own ideas. She thinks the sister-in-law struggling with fertility could adopt the teen mom's baby.
The woman caught her MIL talking to her daughter about it.
One day when the woman got home, she happened to hear her MIL talking to her teen daughter and trying to guilt her into giving up her baby. She told the teen that she is not ready to be a mom, and also lectured her about "how she wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle" since her mom gave birth to her when she was young, too.
It didn't end there. She also tried to make the teen feel bad, emphasizing how the SIL has dreamed of having a baby.
The woman tells her MIL to leave.
Upon hearing what was happening, the woman walked into the room and said, "get out" to her mother-in-law. "She stared at me in complete disbelief, then said I couldn’t kick her out of her sons house," the woman wrote, adding that she eventually left but sent a lot of messages to her husband to complain. The woman noted that her husband sides with her, but she also wanted to know what the Reddit community thought.
Redditors empathize with the SIL's fertility struggles.
Many Redditors noted that they understand how hard it can be to navigate fertility issues. Some Redditors even had firsthand experience trying to have a baby for many years — but they still didn't agree with the mother-in-law.
"Hubby and I spent 20 years trying to have a baby," one person wrote. "I would never, in a million years, try to convince someone to give up their child. It's horrendous and she deserves for you to go full no contact until she apologizes."
"Inform your MIL that babies are not handbags and you can’t just reserve one that you like," another Redditor commented. "As an infertile woman, I would never dream of manipulating someone into giving me their baby."
They also think the woman is being a good parent.
During this time in her life especially, and at any time, the teen daughter clearly needs support. Many Redditors admired the way the woman handled the situation because she is protecting her daughter.
"She has not only harassed your daughter while she is vulnerable but unabashedly insulted you and your parenting," one Redditor wrote, referring to the MIL. "For the record, you are clearly an amazing parent supporting your daughter during this challenging time and standing up for her so ferociously when attacked."
"whatever your daughter decides, being told by a trusted adult that she wouldn't be a fit mother, and that she should feel guilty for not giving SIL the child is utterly repugnant and gross," another commented. "You have spoken to your daughter. You have given her all the information and allowed her to have her choice. I'm sure you have not sugar-coated anything. You have done right by your daughter."
Several pointed out that the teen is not just an incubator.
Several Redditors were disgusted by the way the MIL treated the teen as though she's just an incubator.
"Your MIL is treating your daughter as an incubator of a free baby for your SIL, which is disgusting on so many levels," one Redditor pointed out. "I feel like this is a no contact situation, because I feel like your MIL will not know when to quit."
"If your daughter wants to keep her kid she should keep her kid," another wrote. "She's growing them in her body and carrying them those 9 months. She has bodily autonomy. There are other options for SIL she could do a lot of good adopting a child."
"Where do people get the idea that a woman's uterus is open for discussion?" one person commented. "Oh right…. I remember now. Supreme Court. It's a pitiful state of affairs. I'm glad she has her mother supporting her decisions."
They think the mom's response was perfect.
Some Redditors said their reaction to the situation would've been even harsher, but overall, most felt that the woman did the right thing.
"No, you reacted perfectly," one person assured the woman. "Just a simple 'get out' without any cussing? Nice."
Another added: "I hope your husband continues the support. Way to go mom/grandma!"
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