Parent Lets Child Bring Snacks That Everyone In His Class Can Eat Except One Student

While they were on their vacation, the parent "found it really sweet he wanted to share with everyone" and "didn’t think about (dietary restrictions) at the time of purchase since we were mid holiday in a different country." However, when they returned and started to get ready for school, the parent remembered that one student, Joe, has a gluten allergy so he wouldn't be able to eat the snack.

The parent considered buying something else for Joe, but didn't for several reasons. All of the stores nearby were already closed, and because they work full time, they didn't have time in the morning before school. Besides, the snack wouldn't be from Japan — it would just be a snack from a local store, so it would still be different from what all the other kids were eating.

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The son was happy after taking the snacks to school. His classmates liked them and it was a fun experience (he shared a story about his trip to Japan and gave the snacks out during his story). But Joe's mom wasn't happy. "I got an angry phone call from Joe’s mum saying that I shouldn’t have let my son bring in those biscuits knowing that her son would be excluded," the parent wrote. "She said that I should cater to allergies especially children’s allergies."

Though the parent knew about Joe's allergy, they didn't purposely try to exclude Joe. They noted that the same situation has happened before when other parents tried to bring snacks, and Joe can only eat them if the parents are 100% sure there is no gluten in the snacks. "When there’s been a school event I think they always have something separate for him," the parent noted. "For the biscuits my son brought in the ingredients were in Japanese so the teacher let Joe know and he did not have any."

From the parent's perspective, Joe's mom seemed to be overreacting a bit. "I would understand if it was say for example peanut allergy which is life threatening, but should gluten intolerance be treated with the same extreme caution?" the parent questioned. They asked Redditors what they thought about the situation.

Though many Redditors sided with the parent, they also noted that gluten allergies should be taken seriously.

"A gluten allergy should absolutely be treated with the same seriousness as a peanut allergy," one Redditor wrote. "Please don’t minimize the seriousness of any food allergy."

"This sounds really dismissive about an actual disease that can have life long ramifications," another person agreed. "I ignored my gluten intolerance which led me to almost die. Cross contamination is a serious issue."

Some people didn't think it was the parent's responsibility to cater to Joe's needs. In fact, they think Joe should learn to cope with the fact that many will not understand his dietary restrictions.

"Children with digestive disorders and intolerance need to understand early on that the world around won’t revolve around their needs and it will be their job to manage their intolerance while other people are allowed to have whatever they want," one person wrote.

"I have nut allergies, and you have no idea how many times I've had to skip out on food," another Redditor commented. "But you shouldn't be making YOUR allergies OTHER people's problem. Sure, it's a nice gesture to include something for that one kid, but you can't expect this accommodation to happen every single time."

Some agreed that it was not this parent's responsibility to bring a snack for Joe. However, they do think it's better if parents inform the teacher and the parents of the kids with allergies beforehand. That way, the parents or teacher can make sure there's a snack for those children and they won't feel left out.

"In my kids' classes, it's normal that the parent of a child with allergies/restrictions provides the teacher with safe snacks to give to the child in cases like this," one person wrote.

One parent added that they ask other parents to tell them when they are bringing treats so they can prepare something for their kid who has an allergy.

"It sucks for him when nobody lets us know there will be treats, but he also knows that the world is not going to take his disease into account the way we do," the Redditor said. "My suggestion is to let parents with a kid with allergies know, so they can provide an alternative treat for their kid."

While some Redditors thought that the parent should've wait a day before sending the kid to school with snacks (in order to ensure that they were able to get one for Joe as well), others said they shouldn't even bother trying. Many commented saying that they would not let their kid with allergies eat a snack that someone else brought in.

"My child has food allergies and we never let her eat food from someone else," one person noted. "It would make me especially nervous with the label being in a different language. I sent her snack with her every day of school."

"To be fair, it could actually be quite hard to find gluten free snacks unless you're well versed with all the random things gluten can be in," another commented.

Opinions were mixed. Some thought that Joe should learn to deal with being left out since it's going to keep happening. Others acknowledged that feeling left out is especially hard on children, and he might remember it for a long time.

"Food allergies like that are something that Joe will have to live with for many years to come and maybe for life," one person commented.

"I would never expect someone to cater to (my son's) dietary needs when bringing in a special treat," another commented. "Sometimes we just miss out on things, even as adults."

"My son has a mild nut allergy and twice this year he couldn’t enjoy birthday treats because of it," one Redditor noted. "You know what I did? I brought in a small stash (3 individually wrapped grandmas cookies) for his teacher to keep so if it happens again, my kid has an alternative."