I’m a parent of three and am flying by the seat of my pants on most days. My planning and multitasking skills are good, but kids provide unexpected variables that are beautiful, terrifying, and maddening. See potty training. But some elements of my parenting are very intentional and nonnegotiable. One decision I made before any of my children were born was that I was going to read to them every day. There are literacy benefits to this, but that was not my goal. I use books to open their minds to other people while they examine who they are and what they need.
All cultures, races, sexualities, genders, and body types can and need to be represented in children’s books so that kids can see themselves and others. When we provide representation, we normalize diversity and build respect for others’ differences. Books also strengthen a child’s self-esteem, because in order to have empathy for others, we need to also practice it with ourselves. Here are 10 books to help your little ones build confidence and self-love.
1. 'Listening With My Heart' by Gabi Garcia
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Self-doubt, impostor syndrome, and false narratives plague the best of us, kids too. The positive words we say to others can be harder to tell ourselves. Esperanza isn’t happy when the school play doesn’t go her way, but will she learn to be as kind to herself as she would be to a friend? Listening With My Heart is a reminder to kids that we need to give ourselves grace and compassion. (Ages 2 to 6)
2. 'It’s Okay To Be Different' by Todd Parr
Todd Parr is one of my favorite children’s book authors and illustrators. Every one of his books is about accepting ourselves and others. He uses simple and direct text and fun drawings to teach kids that our differences are beautiful. In It’s Okay To Be Different he teaches kids that some people have two moms, are adopted, wear glasses, or need a wheelchair. People are different shapes, sizes, and colors. We have different interests and fears, but we are all important. (Ages 3 to 6)
3. 'A Little Spot of Love' by Diane Alber
A Little Spot of Love is part of an eight-book series by Diane Alber. Each book focuses on an emotion and how to negotiate big feelings. This book shows kids how speaking to ourselves with kind words is an act of love. (Ages 5 to 7)
4. 'It Feels Good To Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity' by Theresa Thorn
An important part of who we are as humans is our gender identity. Kids have a sense of who they are from a young age, and it’s our job as parents to help them explore that identity in ways that are free of stereotypes. Kids need to know that not everyone’s assigned gender at birth is correct and that some people don’t identify with any gender. This book lets kids know they are loved no matter how they identify. (Ages 4 to 8)
5. 'Your Body Is Awesome: Body Respect for Children' by Sigrun Danielsdotter
All bodies are amazing, and they are great at telling us what we need. Building body positivity and confidence from an early age helps kids trust and respect their bodies, but it also helps them respect the diversity of all bodies. Your Body Is Awesome teaches kids that all bodies are awesome, and when that is understood, bullying decreases. (Ages 4 to 7)
6. 'Just Ask: Be Different, Be Brave, Be You' by Sonia Sotomayor
Written by United States Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Just Ask celebrates the different abilities of people at all ages. Those differences make us unique and beautiful — just like a community garden — but it can be hard to know how to talk about our differences. This book encourages readers to ask questions in respectful ways so that we can build strong communities. (Ages 4 to 8)
7. 'Confident Ninja' by Mary Nhin
Confident Ninja is one of 42 books in the Ninja Life Hack series that helps kids learn essential life skills. This colorful and playful book shows kids how to fight low self-esteem in a fun and relatable way. (Ages 3 to 10)
8. 'I Like Myself!' by Karen Beaumont
I Like Myself! is full of silly, rhyming text that embraces messy hair, bad breath, big imaginations, and high energy. All of the quirks that define us and that come and go are likable. (Ages 0 to 3)
9. 'I Am Enough' by Grace Byers
I Am Enough empowers kids to believe they are loved and wanted. We are all deserving of kindness and respect and need to believe it. (Ages 4 to 8)
10. 'The OK Book' by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
The OK Book literally turns the word OK into all of the great things kids do every day. So many of us either try to achieve perfection or don’t try at all because we won’t be perfect at something. This book teaches kids that being OK is a perfect word to be. (Ages 4 to 8)
I want to raise kids who are kind and respectful to others, and that’s easier when they feel good about themselves. We all go through periods of self-doubt and fear, but hopefully we have the resilience to keep moving through life with confidence. We are worthy of love and self-respect.
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