If you browse the posts of any mommy group on social media, you’ll see women asking for tips on work-life balance, virtual career options that are not an MLM, ways to keep the spark alive in their marriage, how to sneak in self-care, where to go for therapy, and more. The juggle is real — and so are the opportunities to find the balance and life you crave. LittleThings went straight to the experts to answer burning questions on the minds of moms.
Moms who are the breadwinner of the family need more balance at work but fear advocating for themselves might result in responsibilities being taken away, or loss of respect.
“Being the primary earner shouldn't mean sacrificing your well-being,” says mindset and wellness expert, Sonia Jhas, author of I’ll Start Again Tomorrow: And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself. “Clearly define your working hours and communicate them to your colleagues and your family. This establishes a routine that respects and safeguards your professional and familial commitments and cultivates an environment where you can be wholly present, enhancing efficiency, productivity, and overall satisfaction.”
Jhas also suggests, “When it comes to excelling in your career, prioritize your tasks wisely. Focus on activities that genuinely contribute to your professional growth, identifying key priorities that align with your career goals while leaving room for personal and family needs. Embrace the power of saying ‘no’ and delegating when necessary.”
Some moms want more money but are afraid taking a higher position will result in less flexibility in their schedules.
“Let’s start with creating clarity about what your ambitions actually are in your career,” says Nikol Rogers, former Rockette turned spiritual teacher, empowerment transformation coach, and author of 13: One Woman’s Sacred Journey To Discovering Her Greatest Power. “For some women, it’s making a certain amount of money, for others, it’s having a level of influence, and for others what feels like success is being fulfilled in their work and happy in their jobs. If it is about making more money, then how can you bring in more revenue or is this the time to search for other opportunities or side work that has a higher time-for-income ratio than your current position or business?”
Rogers says, “One of my favorite communication tools is Nonviolent Communication, and I have seen this not only transform my life but the lives of all of my clients as they build their teams and advocate for their needs. Now, in any moment of clear communication around balance, this includes setting boundaries. A boundary is defined as what you are or are not willing to do, and within your career, you need to be very clear on what those are and effectively communicate them. This is where the skill is necessary because while you cannot control how someone will receive your boundary, you can have an incredible amount of influence with how it is presented. Know your limits, and learn how to communicate them, and for those who will not respect what you need, then this is an opportunity to leave that relationship and look elsewhere for support in your career.”
Angela Santomero, the creator of the Emmy Award-winning shows Blue’s Clues and Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and author of Life Clues: Unlocking the Lessons to an Exceptional Life, says, “For me, it's always been focusing on what I do best and remembering that it's the quality of your work and not the number of hours you spend. Like anything else, we need to remember our own ‘return on investment.’ Work hard when you work and then focus on your family, friends, and interests when you are not. Speak up for yourself at work, present your thought process, and be in front of your boss on projects that are important to you. Focusing in on how you work and the quality of the work will always be what the company will reward.”
So many stay-at-home moms or moms with young children want to find ways to earn a steady paycheck without working in an office — we’re talking employee-status jobs, not MLMs.
Jhas says, “Some great remote roles to look into include virtual assistance, tutoring, customer service, freelance writing or editing, graphic design, social media management, or data entry. The key is to be clear about your skills, experience, and interests. That way, you’ll be sure you’re choosing a role that provides flexibility and funds while also providing a sense of fulfillment and excitement.”
Rogers says, “It has to begin with your passion and what lights you up, and your level of comfort around leadership. There is no one-size-fits-all, so it’s important to start with an inventory. Do you like to be in charge or do you prefer to work in partnership with another person? If you love making all the decisions, then there can be great fulfillment in being a solopreneur. Many mothers do this and love it because they can create their own schedule around the schedule of their children, and create the business based on what service they want to give to their ideal clients. If you find you struggle with motivation but work great with another person, start to look in your network for another person who could complement your skills and you could create an amazing business together! This could look like a business strategy consultant paired with a mindfulness expert or a hair stylist working with a facialist. It becomes about what you create together.
"However, if you are far more shy and introverted, then taking some kind of remote position may feel the best. There are great sites out there that hire per project or are seeking contractors for side work. You can find these on Indeed.com or LinkedIn based on your skill set and what you feel you would love to spend your time doing. At the end of the day, start with your heart. Start with what you love to do, and what creates energy in your body. Then decide on your level of involvement, and start to create or connect with your opportunities.”
Women are stressed out because they are working, raising kids, and have become the sole caregivers to their aging parents.
Dr. Monica Vermani, clinical psychologist and author of A Deeper Wellness, says, “Talk with your employer. Many companies offer flexible schedules or remote working options. Such options allow you to be productive at work while balancing caregiver responsibilities at home. When such pressures are impacting your physical or mental health, many clinicians will support you by writing a medical note advising your employer to offer accommodations.”
Vermani says you may also consider taking a short-term leave and definitely, “communicate honestly, and authentically and be vulnerable to allow people opportunities to help and offer assistance.”
No matter what situation we’re in, there’s always mom guilt because we feel we’re not making everyone happy.
Vermani says, “When you are too exhausted to support your loved ones, guilt and shame start to creep in. The reality is that no one can provide round-the-clock care without a break. If you feel guilty because your exhaustion is negatively impacting your ability to care for your loved ones, reach out. Talk to a trusted friend, or family member or seek the support of a parent/caregiver support group. It is important to be kind to ourselves and set reasonable expectations. You can’t expect yourself to provide around-the-clock care for your loved ones without support.”
This can include social support, and that of a therapist, Vermani notes.
Moms struggle with self-care.
Vermani says, “We need to understand that self-care is not an add-on or an option. It is what keeps us healthy, happy, and whole. We need to learn the value of quality self-care.”
Here are Vermani’s tips for self-care:
- Create an end-of-day wind-down routine: “Practice deep breathing exercises at the end of the day,” says Vermani. “Unplug from technology. Take time to tune into your emotions.”
- Fuel your body: “Eat a healthy, nutrition-rich diet that fuels your body and gives you the energy you need,” says Vermani. “Proper nutrition helps you maintain energy and relieve stress. Have healthy snacks on hand so you can stay fueled up throughout your busy day.”
- Treat yourself: “Eating healthy is important to self-care,” says Vermani. “But be sure to treat yourself now and then. Indulge in your favorite dessert or comfort food. Don’t deprive yourself of small pleasures that can take the edge off a stressful day.”
- Schedule in me-time: “Build 30 minutes into your daily schedule where you are the priority,” says Vermanni. “Do something you want to do. Rest. Relax. Walk. Read.”
- Meditate: “Meditation allows you to go inside, reflect, connect, and breathe,” says Vermani. “Incorporating practices like yoga or meditation into your daily routine helps you stay connected to your mind and body.”
- Use positive affirmations: “Positive affirmations can help you reframe negative thoughts and discouraging self-beliefs,” says Vermani. “We can replace negative thoughts with more positive, hopeful, and, uplifting ones.”
- Make time for interests/hobbies: “Every week, make time for an activity that brings you joy,” says Vermani. “Activities that bring you joy help keep you feeling grounded and in control of your life.”
- Embrace the power of gratitude: “A gratitude log, where you write down what you are grateful for at the end of each day, can help maintain a healthy perspective,” says Vermani. “Acknowledging the good, and what is working well, will help manage stress, both mentally and physically.”
- Learn skills from mental health professionals: “Mental health professionals can help you cope with high anxiety, panic attacks, and distress overload,” says Vermani.”
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