Deciding when to move your aging parents into a senior home or assisted living facility is a deeply personal and often challenging decision. It’s important to consider their safety, health, and overall well-being.
Every family’s needs are different. Here are some considerations for transitioning your aging parents to a senior care community:
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Reasons To Transition To a Senior Care Facility
Physical Health Decline
One of the first signs is a decline in physical health. If your parents are experiencing frequent falls, mobility issues, or difficulty managing daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, or bathing, it may be time to consider a higher level of care.
Other signs are unmanaged chronic illnesses, worsening health conditions, or noticeable weight loss, or poor nutrition due to difficulty cooking or shopping.
Cognitive Decline
If memory loss starts to impact daily life, it could mean they need more support. For instance, they frequently forget to take their medications, wander off, or get lost. Difficulties with problem-solving, confusion, disorientation, or increased agitation may also mean they need a safer environment to live in.
Safety Concerns
If your parents’ living conditions have become unsafe — such as a cluttered home, poor hygiene, or fire hazards — or they forget to turn off the stove, their safety may be at risk. It’s important to assess their ability to respond appropriately to emergencies.
Social Isolation
A lack of social interaction often leads to loneliness and depression. If your parent has withdrawn from friends, family, or community activities, or shows signs of depression, anxiety, or mood changes, moving to a more socially engaging environment could benefit them.
Caregiver Burnout
Caregiver burnout is an important but sometimes overlooked factor. If you or other family members are experiencing signs of emotional exhaustion, physical fatigue, or even resentment, it could affect the quality of care they receive. Recognizing when you can no longer manage care at home is vital for everyone’s well-being.
Financial and Logistical Considerations
It’s important to assess whether it is financially feasible to provide in-home care versus moving to assisted living. The logistics of managing care — such as coordinating medical appointments, managing medications, and addressing daily needs — can become overwhelming over time.
Inability to Maintain Independence
If your parent struggles with managing finances, household chores, or personal care, and increasingly relies on family members for daily needs, assisted living may provide a more supportive environment.
Deterioration of Mental Health or Behavior Changes
Worsening mental health or behavior changes, such as increased agitation, aggression, or paranoia, or signs of neglect like not bathing or wearing dirty clothes, are serious indicators they may need more help.
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Common Issues Finding the Right Senior Care
CafeMom spoke with Becky Bongiovanni, the brand president of CarePatrol, the most trusted source for senior care solutions, to understand the best way to choose a senior care community for your parents.
Becky shared that introducing a discussion about senior care can be challenging, especially as the adult child of aging parents. Your parents may deny that they need help or express anger and even begin to blame the person trying to help. It’s important to find a senior care service that understands that being able to take care of mom or dad at home is ideal, but it isn’t always an option.
One way to help is by making the conversation a dialogue and by being an active listener. Retaining a sense of empathy is also essential. As a person loses their independence, they go through a grieving process and we need to allow them to transition through these stages. Put yourself in their shoes to fully grasp what a change this will be for them.
If declining cognition is a concern with an aging loved one, they may not understand what is happening or the help being offered. Especially when aging parents are living with dementia, discussing the next steps or senior care options effectively isn’t always possible. In this situation, trying to discuss care needs can be counterproductive.
Struggling with feelings of guilt for seeking senior care options for a parent is completely normal. Keep in mind that providing a safe environment for your parent is a gift for your loved one as well as peace of mind for your family. Be prepared to set boundaries.
“We all tend to make promises to our loved ones about their future care and do not always understand what that looks like until we are dealing with it. If your parent could understand the amount of care required, they would not want you to bear it alone,” Becky told CafeMom.
5 Tips for Transitioning Parents to Assisted Living
Becky shared her top tips for transitioning your aging parents to assisted living:
- Talk about it sooner rather than later: Start a conversation before a critical event happens like a health crisis or a hospital stay that requires senior care options. Listen to your loved ones’ preferences, concerns, hopes, and fears for the future. When senior care options are needed, you’ll have a better sense of what they will enjoy or might stress them.
- Reach out to a senior care advisor: There are many options when it comes to senior living communities. By speaking to a local senior care advisor, such as CarePatrol, you’ll have a better understanding of the communities and their nuances that are available as well as which would suit the health needs and preferences of your loved one.
- Accept help from family and friends: There are many loose ends to tie up when a parent moves, especially if they have been in one home for decades. From deciding what to bring to their new home to canceling their landline, there are many tasks to accomplish. Gather family and friends to form a team that can get things done!
- Help your parent make their new residence feel like home: Make sure that family photos and favorite items like throw blankets, pillows, or dishes are in place and ready to use. Familiar items will bring a sense of comfort.
- Be supportive: This time of transition can feel strange for your loved one. Talk to them about their feelings, validate their concerns and listen if they need to vent. Feelings of sadness, frustration or fear are common. By providing emotional support and being there, your loved one will feel less alone and more apt to embrace the changes in their life.
Recommended Resources
Becky recommended the following resources to check out:
National Institute on Aging is a leader in aging research that seeks to “understand the nature of aging and the aging process, and diseases and conditions associated with growing older, in order to extend the healthy, active years of life.”
The CarePatrol Podcast covers all topics related to senior care and taking care of aging loved ones. Notable episodes include the following:
