For years people have debated whether or not children raised by LGBTQ+ families fare any better or worse, and it seems the jury is in: There aren't any measurable differences for the kids.
The American Academy of Pediatrics came out in support of marriage equality in 2013, with the chair of the AAP Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, Benjamin S. Siegel, explaining, "Children thrive in families that are stable and that provide permanent security, and the way we do that is through marriage. The AAP believes there should be equal opportunity for every couple to access the economic stability and federal supports provided to married couples to raise children."
If you're looking for less academic evidence that the kids are truly all right, there's also a great Reddit thread that began with a question: Do kids raised by LGBTQ+ couples feel like they're missing out?
'I am the luckiest girl in the world.'
The top comment is from a woman who was adopted by her two dads in the 1990s. She shared that sometimes she had to explain things to outsiders, but that she wouldn't take back a thing:
"I consider myself a great counterexample to all the bigots who claim that children of LGBT families are somehow scarred, or have a deficiency caused by the lack of a father or mother figure. I am happier and more successful in life than so many children of 'traditional' families that I knew growing up.
"My dads are rad and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found them. I am not missing a d**n thing."
'The biggest problem was other people's parents.'
One person shared that growing up with three moms was great, but dealing with other people's parents was not:
"I have two moms and a step mom, so I'm both a child of gay parents and a child of divorce. When people ask me this question, I usually reply 'well what is it like to have a dad?' It's all I know. My family has plenty of issues, so I definitely feel like I missed out on some things, but I don't think being raised by all women was all that relevant.
"The biggest problem growing up with gay parents was other kids' parents. A lot of kids weren't allowed to hang out with me, and the parents who would have me around would ask strange, intrusive questions or make comments."
The impact can go deep.
Another person shared that growing up in a female home has made them more in touch with their feelings:
"My mom realized she was a lesbian when I was about 6, so most of my life I grew up with two moms. To add to this I don't have any uncles and my brother is also gay, so I grew up in a feminine household to say the least.
"I can't deny it made me more 'feminine' in the traditional sense. I'm much more open with my emotions than most my age, I'm very open with compliments and like to talk deeply about things."
'My mom saved my life.'
One person shared that they were raised by a set of heterosexual parents for 12 years and then adopted out of foster care by their mother, and the act was actually lifesaving:
"The first 12 years of my life I was raised by my straight biological parents. I ended up in the foster system and was adopted by the woman I proudly call my mother today. She is a lesbian and honestly her and my soon to be step mom are the most wonderful people in my life. I am also a lesbian. I have a beautiful wife and we have an amazing daughter. My mom saved my life and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I didn't miss out on anything. I couldn't ask for better parents."
'I was incredibly blessed.'
Another person shared that they were able to join the LGBTQ+ community at a young age, and the experience has been invaluable:
"Overall, I think I was incredibly blessed to have same sex parents. I got to be a part of the LGBT+ community from a really young age, which really just gave me a great perspective on life. Some people just think it is about sex, but it isn't. It's about love- platonic love, familial love, parental love, romantic love. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people I have had in my life."
'I don't know how to explain my gratitude.'
One person explained that some people think that they've been missing out, but nothing could be further from the truth:
"Not once have I questioned if I was 'missing something' from my moms. Parents divorced when I was 13, my mom's girlfriend moved in, and that was it. I have to give my mom's gf more credit than I can imagine. She walked into an already established family with two angsty teenagers, but she didn't hesitate to become part of our family even though she had no previous experience with children.
Years had passed, father moved away, got remarried, and pretended like me and my brother didn't exist.
"My mom's gf has been the best thing that has ever happened to my family. People will occasionally ask me if she replaced my father or what not, and I respond the same every time. First I chuckle then proceed to tell them that without her I wouldn't be who I am today. Im close to 30 now and if it wasn't for my mom's gf (now wife) coming into my life, I have no idea where I would be. If you put me in my 13 year old shoes again I'd never say this new lady I just met would make such an impact on me, but she did and I don't know how to explain my gratitude towards her entering my life.
"So as far as 'missing something' is concerned, that's entirely situational based on one's parents/guardians and how they are willing to raise you."
'I figured all families were made this way.'
Another shared that the only thing missing was for their parents to be able to legally get married:
"If anything was missing from my family, it was that: The ability to say my parents were actually married, and that it was recognized. I love them both, more then I could say in words, and I have a wonderful relationship with them. Until I got into the school system, I never even realized there was something different about my family- I just figured all families were made up this way."
'It's about personalities.'
Plenty of people who responded have both gay and straight parents, and some say any differences are about personalities, not sexuality:
"I have two moms who are currently together and my dad from my bio mom's previous marriage and it honestly isn't that different from my other friends I guess. Honestly, my parents are way more stable than a lot of other people who I knows parents. At the end of the day, it's going to be about personalities not the sexuality or gender, same as any other parent kid relationship."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
