We have been living through this pandemic for so long that I worry we won't regain some of the privileges we had before COVID-19 sent us into quarantine and strict social distancing practices. Events, travel, and human contact seem forever changed. There are plenty of people who either never bothered to take the virus as a serious threat or who have grown too fatigued to keep up with state and CDC guidelines. But many of us are still working from home, helping our kids navigate online learning, and we are socializing through the computer and staying away from loved ones. While all of this is tricky for me as a parent of three school-aged kids who are active and love to be on the move with friends and teammates, an extra layer of difficulty makes day-to-day pandemic life heavier: I'm in a long-distance relationship, and not knowing when my partner and I can see each other again because of COVID-19 makes life painful and lonely. But we often send gratitude into the universe for the technology that keeps us connected.
I'm a Gen Xer and can remember the "old-fashioned" way of doing things — actually doing the thing you needed to do — because before digital photography, Wi-Fi, and the internet, activities like learning, socializing, and sharing memories were more tangible. I'm not anti-technology — I love my smartphone and online banking as much as anyone — but sometimes I get overwhelmed by the newness and mystery that comes with it. I have started to let go of how my phone and computer work and am simply glad that they do — as long as the internet connection is stable.
Maintaining a healthy relationship while 1,400 miles away from my partner is challenging during "normal" times and can make for unstable emotional connections at times, too. Thankfully we communicate well and have set times when we check in with one another so that we don't get frustrated with missed attempts to say hello during our days apart.
We talk on the phone and send sweet and sexy messages to each other throughout the day. We have relied on video chats, Netflix parties to watch shows and movies together, and social media to stay connected. We did this as a way to make the time easier between our visits. We had found a routine of seeing each other every three to four weeks, and while we worked to find ways to see each other more often, it was manageable.
Then COVID-19 hit, and I have seen my partner in person for 10 days in 10 months. What had been a patch to help the distance feel shorter is now our lifeline. Hours of just having each other on video chat while we work together or watch the other one sleep because we are so desperate to fall asleep next to the other is our normal.
Sometimes when the distance feels like it's closing in on us while pulling us apart, we are thankful that we have the technology to see and hear each other whenever we want, if only through a screen. When our frustration, sadness, and anger peak, we imagine what it would be like to have only a telephone or letters and paper photographs to send. What if we were living in times that didn't offer high-speed internet and streaming services?
We are confident we would have made it work, partly as a testament to our love, and because that would have been all we knew, but our feelings shift to appreciation for the technology we do have at our fingertips. Virtual kisses are not the same as physical ones, but seeing my partner laugh and smile through a screen is better than not seeing her at all.
My kids have also benefited from technology. My 7-year-old daughter informed me at dinner the other night that she had a weekend date to meet up with a classmate in the game Roblox. My kids chat with friends and send emails and silly GIFs to people they love. They use YouTube videos to follow art tutorials and find inspiration for creative projects at home.
And even though in-person learning is better for my kids than remote learning, I am thankful for our teachers for creating a user-friendly platform for my kids to stay engaged with their schoolwork when they aren't in the classroom. Talking through a reading assignment into a microphone to record their findings isn't ideal, but it's better than being burdened by writing something that would take much longer and feel exponentially harder.
None of this is ideal, and screens can't replace the in-person connections, but they help keep us close to the ones we love when we have to stay apart. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the sense that online social connections are close but still so far from what I want. Why can't I teleport already, darn it?! Yet, I will always be grateful for the technology that has helped us navigate this pandemic during work, school, and important relationships.
