This past year has been monumentally tough. And I don't just mean tough on our finances and our social lives. It's also been incredibly hard on our personal relationships.
There are a lot of reasons why 2020 hit relationships really hard. For starters, most of us were highly stressed. Whether we were stressed due to kids being home all the time, job loss, or coping with loss or loved ones getting sick, we were all pretty much on edge.
But we also spent a lot of time with our significant others, since going out (really anywhere) was pretty much forbidden. We did it for the good of the greater public. At the same time, being with one person for so long almost always was hard on a personal level.
There are so many more reasons why your closest relationship — the one you have with your partner — may have suffered recently. If so, you definitely are not alone. Here are some things you can do to get back on track.
1. Make Friends a Priority Again
Focusing on your relationship is really important when you're trying to patch things up. However, it's also really important to get some space! Give your relationship some air! You've likely been cooped up together for an eternity (or what felt like one), so head out with some friends and take some time apart. It might do your relationship a world of good to actually miss one another for once.
2. Talk About It
It's easy to fall into the trap of avoiding what's really going on. But that can lead to even more relationship struggles. Sometimes, breaking the ice and talking about the specific problems can provide a lot of relief. Oftentimes, not talking about the real issue makes it worse, because if there isn't communication, you don't really know what's going on inside the other person's head. Opening up, in a gentle way, about what is bothering you and making space for the other person to express themselves can solve a lot more problems than you might think. At the very least, it shows you care, and it's a start.
3. Practice Acceptance
One of the absolute toughest parts of any relationship is accepting the tough stuff about the other person. That's particularly hard when you both might be going through your own personal challenges. It means the tricky things about your personalities are bound to come out. It should go without saying that even the most accepting people should have their limits. But in a tough year, we all need to have a little more acceptance, at least if we want our relationships to survive. It's certainly important to remember now more than ever.
4. Make a List of What's Really Important to You
When you're in a relationship, it can be easy to lose perspective. You're so immersed in the day-in and day-out that you can't always remember exactly what you want. What you want still matters, whether you've been in a relationship for five months or five years.
Making a list of the things that are really important to you in a relationship in order to make sure you feel you're being cared for in the right way can help you remember what matters. It can also help you look at the situation in a really meaningful way and figure out how to move forward.
5. Break Out of Your Day-to-Day Rut
If you haven't been doing much of anything, well, that's completely understandable. We've all pretty much been staring at our TVs every single night for months on end. However, we have a bit more freedom now, so if your relationship has been suffering, it's time to break out of your rut. You can do that by trying something new! It could be going on a fun, adventurous date or taking up a new hobby together. Anything that gets you away from the mundane can be a good way to reconnect and remember how to enjoy one another again.
6. Give Yourselves a Break
Whether it's stealing some time away from the kids or cutting out major stresses, find a way to give yourselves a break. This year has been so immensely stressful that it's become tough to remember that a high level of anxiety is not our normal! Or at least, it shouldn't be. Think about the ways you can reduce your stresses now so that you can begin the healing process. It might be asking parents or friends to look after the kids so you can get away, or thinking about big moves you can make, like letting go of work that isn't meaningful to you. But no matter what, it's time to think about how you can both give your brains a break.
7. Do Something To Make YOURSELF Feel Good
Part of being in a healthy relationship is making sure that you, yourself, are healthy. That means that you have to dedicate time and energy not just to the relationship but to your own well-being. Doing something for you — whether it's starting a yoga practice, or going on a long walk, or figuring out something that's really important to you that makes you tick and going after it — might just rejuvenate you in all the best ways. Chances are, that may rejuvenate your relationship, too.
8. Don't Be Afraid of Therapy
A lot of people are afraid of therapy. And even those who like it are afraid of couples therapy! More often than not, it's because people are afraid of what might come out. But talking is important, especially in relationships. If you really want your relationship to last, you'll have to let go of those fears and start talking. Therapy can help you get past minor issues or big ones. So if you're hitting a wall, it's a great time to open up to someone who has the training and skills to help you break through it.
