Taking care of other people's kids can be tricky. Sure, it's fun to have a kid gang. But things can get complicated when moms have different ways of handling things.
That's what one carpooling mom learned in an incident she shared with Reddit. The original poster was in charge of the carpool for that day when one of the kids, not her own, got sick. Because the kid's mom is a single mom who left for work after he left for school, OP handled it. She got the kids to school, leaving the sick one with the school nurse as she made her way to work.
The child's mom wasn't happy with how the carpool mom handled the situation. She expected empathy and for OP to keep the child with her until mom could get him. OP turned to Reddit to ask if she handled the situation badly.
The post began with OP explaining the carpooling dynamics. "I carpool with 4 other families, so twice a week I drive 5 kids to school in the morning," she explained.
"It's my 10 year old, and 4 other 10-year olds. We've been doing this since the kids were 8 and became friends in 2nd grade."
The incident itself occurred a month before OP's post, but she was just learning that the other child's mom was upset about it.
"One morning I'm picking up the kids and the last child on the route to school is Daniel (not his real name) and his mother is a single mom who leaves for work as soon as I pull into the driveway," she noted.
"We don't usually have time to say hi in the morning."
When Daniel got in the car, OP knew something was up.
"I can tell immediately Daniel seems off but sometimes kids have bad mornings, so I drive to school," she shared.
"We are about 2 minutes from school when I hear gagging from the backseat and all the kids start screaming 'Daniel's going to puke!!!'"
"I scramble to dump out the prescriptions from the plastic Walgreens bag in my front seat and throw it back towards the kids so he has something to puke in," OP continued.
"We get to the school shortly after and I get out of the car to help the kids and throw the puke bag away, and to check in with Daniel. He seems alright but I pull him aside and tell a carpool helper that Daniel threw up in the car and should go straight to the nurse, the helper goes with him and I go on my way to work."
OP was sure to text the boy's mom to fill her in on what happened, thinking that her job was done. Daniel's mom, Jane, wasn't thrilled with how OP handled the situation.
"Apparently Daniels mom thinks I'm an AH because instead of keeping him with me and calling her, I forced a sick child to go to school and wait for her to pick him up in the nurses office instead of with me."
Thankfully, Daniel wasn't badly sick. "He had an allergic reaction to a new type of cereal he ate right before I picked him up so it wasn’t like Jane was ignoring signs of illness," OP noted.
She felt bad that Jane was upset with her, but wasn't sure what she could have done differently. "I do feel bad hearing this, but at the same time I had to go to work and I didn’t feel it was my responsibility to hold a sick kid and wait around for his mom to answer the phone," OP said.
"That's the schools job. I did send her a text about what happened when I got to work."
Many people agreed that OP handled the situation well. "You informed the school and asked Daniel to be immediately sent to the nurse, pulled him aside to check on him, made sure that the helper accompanied him, then texted his mom informing her," one commenter wrote.
"You did whatever was required and could do atm. You weren't obliged to stay with the kid considering you had work to go to."
But after some thought, it seemed OP saw Jane's side of things. "Thank you! I think Jane feels hurt I didn't treat Daniel like I would have my kid since we are somewhat friends, and feels I should have just driven him back home and called her right away to meet me there," she replied.
"Like I did technically handle it correctly but as a family friend I could have been more empathetic?"
Jane may have been mad that she didn't hear from OP first, but the Daniel was safe and sound and that was what truly counted in the moment.
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