These days, it feels harder than ever for parents to make time for one another. Relationships need nurturing as much as family structures do, but it can be hard to justify setting time aside when there's so much else going on.
Still, many couples are seeing the importance of doing that and trying to get that time in, in whatever capacity they can. For some people, the possibilities are wider than for others.
We asked some parents what their date nights are looking like in 2022, and here's what they shared.
For many people, date night is still not a thing.
I can't tell you how many varieties of "Date night? What's that?" and "I remember those days" that I heard in response to my date night inquiries. The truth is that a lot of couples are still struggling to make that time as they juggle their ever-changing schedules.
For some, date nights are few and far between.
"It looks great, but we only see it every one to two years!" one mom responded. Honestly, this is the truth for a lot of couples. If you don't have after-hours child care, it can be hard to get that alone time in.
At-home date nights are winning.
"We make date night work at home," another parent shared.
"My partner and I have such a hard time getting away, so we figured out how to make it work at home. We're lucky enough to have kids who are old enough to put themselves to bed and let us have our space a little."
A lot of dates aren't even at night.
"Mostly date mornings here," one mom noted.
"Saturday morning cartoons for the kids, coffee and breakfast date for the adults."
Some dates turn into checking things off the to-do list, and hey, whatever works!
"My mom watched our 15-month-old last Sunday afternoon. We had big plans to hit up a museum and get a cocktail or something but ended up running errands at Ikea and Marshalls and then sitting in a coffee shop and doing our bills," another mom shared.
"Not proud but also not gonna lie, it felt good to get stuff done. We did laugh about it."
Lunch dates are making a major comeback.
"It's mainly lunch together when the kids are at school," one mom shared of her experience.
"I work from home, and my husband is a stay-at-home dad, so it's actually been really nice to eat lunch with him since the kids went back to in-person school in September."
"We do date lunches because we both work from home and the kids are in school," another mom agreed.
"Lunch dates are a nice break in your day," a third mom added. "And you get to catch each other up on things, so then everything doesn't have to take up all your together time later in the day."
Sometimes, the perfect time for a date will come to you by accident.
"Going grocery shopping on Saturday afternoons. Our kids are 18 and 11, so they are fine when we go out. Anyway, we didn't really mean for it to be a date. We stopped getting groceries delivered, and lifting the groceries aggravates my chronic illness. So we started going together, and it's been fun, but also we've had some really important talks. And we get groceries ," one mom of two said of her and her husband's new time together.
"You know what's funny is that one of the reasons I knew I wanted to marry my husband — 24 years ago this July — was that we could do boring things together and still have fun. Laundry, groceries, cleaning … I figured if we could have fun doing the dull, endless chores of adult life, we had a pretty good shot together."
Some couples are using date night to get back lost time.
"My partner and I were always too tired and stressed to go out pre-[health crisis]. We came up with a date night every other weekend where the goal is to try something new, like food or an activity," one parent noted.
"It's been fun enjoying getting to go out again. We couldn't do it without my brother and sister-in-law watching the kids, so on the weekends we're home, their kids come to us so they can spend time together."
Going somewhere that offers something for other members of your family also seems like a popular solution.
"There's a strip mall about 15 minutes from my house that has a chain restaurant my husband and I love, a bookstore my son is obsessed with, and a café that my daughter likes to hang out at with friends. We all go together and then split up, meeting back up at a particular time," a mom said.
"Once in a while, my kids will come back early [and] crash our date, but there's something kind of fun about that, too."
