When YouTuber Jesse Ridgway and his wife Ashley announced that they had decided to terminate their pregnancy because of a fetal Down syndrome diagnosis, they received a lot of hate from people online. And now, some of the hate is coming from their loved ones as well.
In an update shared on June 8, Jesse revealed that some of his wife’s relatives have “(joined) in on the bandwagon hate PUBLICLY, kicking her while she’s down at her lowest point.”
On June 3, Jesse posted about their decision to terminate their pregnancy.
“This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21,” he wrote on X. “The choice was not made lightly.” In the post, he wrote about some of the health complications that he hadn’t realized could affect children with Down syndrome.
“I signed on to be a parent, come what may…but I just didn’t fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed,” he said, listing several possible complications, including heart problems. “I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family…more often than not, they would be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life,” he added.
Elsewhere in the post, he wrote, “We spoke with doctors, friends, family and genetic counselors and learned that up to 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after learning the baby has Trisomy 21.” While the number is not quite 90 percent, it is true that what Jesse and Ashley decided to do is not uncommon.
According to The New York Times, about 74 percent of people who receive a fetal Down syndrome diagnosis terminate their pregnancies.
In his post, he wrote that a lot of the families that make this decision likely do so privately.
Which might, in part, explain the amount of backlash they’ve received since opening up about their decision. Jesse wrote that he thought the number of people who terminated their pregnancies after learning that the baby has Trisomy 21 would be lower. After all, it’s not something that you see people talking about very often.
“This was WAY higher than I expected, I thought it would be lower given that I hear so many say they kept or would keep the baby,” he said. “I believe that’s because most terminations happen privately, it feels shameful. A lot of judgment being cast. You never think you’d be in this type of situation until it happens to you and then things change.”
But some of their loved ones have not responded very well.
In his recent update, Jesse said Ashley’s “heart has been shattered since the amniocentesis results.” The amount of hate they’ve received has made things worse for her — especially because some of the hate is coming from family and friends.
“These last couple weeks have been the hardest of her life…it’s times like these where you want to be able to depend on your family for love and support,” he said. After Ashley had an abortion, Jesse’s parents gave her a gift basket and tried to be supportive.
However, the way his wife has been treated by other people is really bothering him. “Meanwhile, her family has been nowhere to be found,” he wrote. “Some even going as far as joining in on the bandwagon hate PUBLICLY, kicking her while she’s down at her lowest point.”
Apparently, some of her family members have even tried to tell her to leave Jesse because they think he’s “brainwashing” her. He added that some of their friends have also joined “in on the crusade.”
“My wife is the sweetest and strongest woman I know, the last thing she deserves is to be treated this way,” he said. “My heart goes out to all of the women who have had to keep their abortions private for fear of judgment from friends/family, it’s the last thing you should be dealing with when you’re already confronting the hardest/worst of times.”
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