Adulting is stressful, and the health crisis makes it extra hard right now. Many of us are working full-time while trying to support our kids who are learning part-time or full-time at home. The uncertainty and fear that the virus hangs over our heads every day is amplified by the political and racial tensions in our country. But even with so many heavy feelings and tasks to carry right now, it’s imperative to take care of ourselves. That can feel like one more daily to-do that conflicts with the need to take care of everyone else, but finding time to ground ourselves each day will allow us to be better parents, partners, and friends. Grounding practices help pull us out of anxious moments and unwanted emotions and help us refocus to stay in the present.
Grounding gives us space to destress and helps calm us while in the middle of life’s storm. Here are some ideas you can try to ground yourself each day — and how to build them into everyday life.
Breathe
When I’m tense or overwhelmed, it’s almost like I forget to breathe. My shoulders are high, and my jaw is tight. Not only do I remind myself to take deep breaths when I realize this is happening, but I also use different types of breath work I have learned through yoga. My favorite is to breathe deeply, then exhale through my lips to perform a horse breath. I have also made it a habit to take several long and slow breaths every time I wash my hands. It’s a simple but soothing way to stay present. There are mindfulness apps that can guide you through breath work, too.
Move Your Body
I ~may~ have given my kids their tablets today and told them I was going to head to the basement to work out before I stabbed someone. When my nerves are shot and I’m feeling stabby, moving my body is always the solution that works best. Each morning I look at my day and figure out when I am able to get in a workout, even if it’s a walk or 20-minute yoga session. Five minutes of time spent doing jumping jacks, squats, or running in place helps move chemicals in your body and change thought patterns. Try to stay focused on the movements and how your body feels while doing them; mindful movement allows you to let go of the thoughts that are stressing you out.
Observe Your Surroundings
Many years ago, I had a therapist who helped me escape intrusive thoughts that got stuck in my brain by asking me to identify five sounds. This brought me back to the present. This can be done for all of the senses, and it doesn’t need to be five. Pick a number and something to observe; I have asked my kids to do this with me at times, too, and it creates a positive shift in energy for the whole house.
Do a Full-Body Scan
If you are comfortable and are able, lie down and close your eyes. Start with the top of your head and bring awareness and breath to each part of your body as you work your way down to your toes. Pay attention to how each section of your body feels. Our body does a lot for us each day, and the body scan is a very powerful tool to check in with it once in a while. This guided narration of a body scan is about 30 minutes long, but you can still get the benefits by taking five minutes before getting out of bed each morning or falling asleep each night.
Practice Self-Love
This may sound cheesy or be one of the most uncomfortable grounding techniques to practice, but the act of being kind to yourself is necessary. Remind yourself that you are strong. You are doing the best you can. You can and will make it through. Tell yourself it’s OK to rest. Find one or two phrases that can be gentle reminders you can tell yourself when the stress and anxiety build.
Snuggle With a Favorite Blanket or Pet
Instead of passively scrolling social media or bingeing Netflix, actively snuggle with a soft blanket or pillow. If you have a pet, sit with them and observe their markings and feel the softness of their fur and the warmth of their bodies. Enjoy the texture and calmness of quiet comforts.
Do a Puzzle
When I’m able to keep my mind active on anything but the topics weighing me down, I tend to feel lighter and more ready to tackle my to-do lists. If you can, keep a puzzle, word search, or crossword in a common part of the house and take 10-minute breaks to shift your mindset.
Write
To avoid feeling like I am drowning in my own stew of emotions, I write. The act of writing lists, thoughts, and ideas is like pouring water from a bucket that is about to overflow. Before bed each night or at the start of each day, I make a list of priorities that need to get accomplished. Off to the side of that I add other reminders that may not be touched that day but can’t be forgotten. Another way to save and gather mental energy is to write gratitude lists, fears, and wishes.
Listen to Music
Make listening to music an active distraction and form of healing. Pay attention to the lyrics, instruments, and melody of the song. Let the music wash over you, and allow yourself to dance, cry, and sing. The Echo Dot on my counter gets lots of love, because anytime I am overwhelmed or my kids are acting like fools, I ask Alexa for a song, and it almost always makes the situation better.
Stretch
My hips hold stress and my old traumas. Hip-opening stretches are not always comfortable, but they are necessary for better mobility and serve as a reminder that holding onto stress hurts physically and mentally. I like to move through a few yoga poses to rejuvenate my mind and body, but you can also reach to the ceiling, bend toward the floor and sway your arms, or lean from side to side. Stretching can be done while cooking, on a Zoom call, or talking to someone in your home.
It may take some practice, but being intentional about taking care of your mental health and happiness will become a habit. Finding time for ourselves isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.
