In an emergency, you may be called upon to babysit someone else's child for a few hours. And normally, these interactions can be a lot of fun. It's nice to spend time with a friend's or coworker's kid, and they'll appreciate the favor.
However, sometimes, there are a few miscommunications. And they can often revolve around food. Some parents are cool with their babysitter ordering a pizza, but other parents have certain restrictions. This situation, which was brought up in Reddit's "Am I the [expletive]?" forum, seems to be a tough call all around.
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"As a special favor, I babysat my coworker’s 8 year old son the other evening," the Redditor explained. "The kid asked for pasta and red sauce for dinner, so I made a really great tomato/red wine/sausage sauce recipe I know. He absolutely loved it."
You might have already figured out where this was going. "A couple days later, my coworker told me that her son hasn't stopped raving about the pasta dish I served him, and asked for the recipe, which I gladly gave her," the Redditor said. "Upon reading it, she got really angry, and said that it was totally inappropriate for me to serve a child wine sauce."
Those who cook often know that the alcohol content very rarely becomes a major factor of the dish. The red wine is used mostly for flavor. "I told her that the alcohol almost entirely boils off when the sauce simmers, but she said that she does not want her kid consuming any amount of alcohol, and that I was really irresponsible for not asking her permission first," the Redditor said.
The red wine really threw her off.
It wasn't that he had an allergy — it was simply because the ingredient was wine. "Before babysitting, I asked if her son had any food allergies/dietary restrictions, and she said no," the Redditor said. "When I mentioned this to her after she got upset at me, she said that it’s common sense to not feed someone else's kid something with alcohol in it without asking permission."
The Redditor didn't think to ask, since those types of dishes were fairly normal when they were growing up. "When I was little (I'm in my early 30s, so I'm not that old), all of us kids grew up eating red wine tomato sauce, penne alla vodka, meats with wine sauce, tiramisu, fruitcake, etc., and nobody would have ever thought to ask parents' permission before serving such dishes to someone else's kid," they explained.
Wine also wasn't something the coworker's family had to culturally avoid.
The Redditor also specified that they've seen their coworker drink before, so she's not against alcohol, nor is it against her religion. "I don't think this is a generational thing, none of my friends with kids would have a problem with it either. Is my coworker being weird?" they asked.
While most who cook a lot from home know that using wine for cooking is very common and not something that'd cause intoxication, you can still see where the coworker may be coming from. It seems as if the Redditor's dish is fancier or more intricate, and just by hearing about it, the mom might have had a bit of a negative reaction. She might think that the son loved it so much due to the wine involved.
This situation could very well lead to a falling out.
A lot of it also depends on how much the coworker trusts this Redditor. The Redditor mentioned seeing her drink before. Is it possible that the coworker felt as if the Redditor wanted an excuse to break out the wine while watching her child? It's unlikely, but in the heat of the moment, it's possible that led the coworker to have a negative reaction.
Many people also refuse to see the point of using alcoholic drinks like wine and beer to cook with. While both have the capability to get you intoxicated, both are also quite flavorful additions to recipes. If you've never used them to cook with before, you may consider it just to be a myth. But both can kick certain dishes up a couple of notches.
Many Redditors agreed with the original poster (OP). They weren't out to harm their coworker's son, and cooking with wine is a fairly common practice. "I think your coworker needs to do some research on how alcohol is used in cooking for flavor," wrote MercyXXVII. "There's literally no alcohol in the food anymore whatsoever and is not harmful. It's basically grape juice at that point."
You'd be surprised at the amount of alcohol in basic food products.
Redditor bjornistundwar agreed, and also said that there are plenty of foods that contain alcohol that kids eat all the time. "My mom is a cook and she always said open a bottle of apple juice, drink it the next day and you will consume more alcohol than a sauce that is made with wine," they said. "Also alcohol is a part in a lot of foods and drinks that kids consume, it's just not obvious."
And they're not wrong. Many food items contain trace amounts of alcohol, including hamburger buns, rye bread, and even bananas. Certain popular baking ingredients, like vanilla extract, also contain alcohol. But when baked, it's not an issue.
Redditor darrowreaper did want to point out one common misconception. "Unless OP cooked the sauce for >3 hours, it's simply not true that there's no alcohol left," they wrote. "After 30 minutes of cooking time, there's still about 1/3 of the alcohol present. Less alcohol cooks off than people think." That said, they still side with the OP. "OP is still NTA – whatever alcohol was left was not enough to hurt the kid, and it's pretty common to use wine in pasta sauces – but people should know there is some alcohol left unless you cook it a really long time."
So how does this Redditor solve the problem?
So what's the best way to solve this? If things get a little tense at work, the OP may want to apologize. They did nothing wrong on purpose, but accidentally crossed a boundary they didn't realize. They can say that the wine in the recipe could be substituted out for alcohol-free wine, which many grocery stores sell.
Or they can choose to let it go. Hopefully, the coworker won't bring the incident into the workplace, as it wasn't a malicious mistake. Hopefully, the coworker will realize that no harm was done in making the dinner, and move forward.
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