Weddings can be stressful to plan. Surprises can be fun. These two facts made a groom think it would be a good idea for him to throw his girlfriend a surprise wedding. Unfortunately, it backfired as she wanted a say in the planning, felt put on the spot, and left.
This runaway bride took to Reddit to see if her actions were wrong. She loves her boyfriend and still wants to get married, she just wants to have a part in planning the big day. Reddit was happy to weigh in with an outside perspective.
We are going to a fancy party, babe.
“Last week, I (30F) was invited to a supposedly fancy party by my longtime boyfriend, Mark (32M),” the bride begins her tale. "We had been dating for five years, and while we had discussed marriage before, there were no immediate plans for a wedding. Excited about the event, I dressed up in my best attire and arrived at the designated venue. As I entered the grand hall, I was completely taken aback to see all of our family, friends, and acquaintances gathered, eagerly waiting. It turns out, Mark had orchestrated an elaborate surprise wedding for us without my knowledge.”
It's important to listen.
“Everyone erupted into applause as I stood there, shocked and overwhelmed. I just felt a mix of emotions. While I love Mark and had dreamed of our future together, the idea of getting married without any prior discussion or consent felt like a breach of trust,” she explains. “So, I pulled Mark aside and tried to express my concerns and reservations about the surprise wedding. I explained that I wanted a say in the planning process, to be part of the decision-making, and to have the chance to prepare mentally and emotionally for such a significant milestone in our lives.”
Mark, for his part, did not really hear her. She “made the decision not to proceed with the surprise wedding, much to the disappointment and confusion of our guests.”
More from LittleThings: Bride Sends Her Dad A Wedding Invite For A Plus One And He Invites His 3 Girlfriends
Now everyone is mad.
Her actions caused tension not only between her and Mark, but also among their families and friends. “Now, I find myself at odds with Mark, our families, and even some of our friends who believe I overreacted and spoiled a beautiful moment,” she explains. “However, I firmly believe that a marriage should be a joint decision, with open communication and shared expectations. Everyone's excuse for this is I have always talked about marrying Mark. And again the problem isn't marrying him, the problem is not having any say in my wedding. Mark thought I'd appreciate it, because I always spoke about how stressful planning a wedding must be. Yes, I think its stressful, it is but I'd still like planning one!”
She and Mark are still together.
“After this whole ordeal everyone asked if Mark and I were ending things, in which I replied no. I emphasized towards them and Mark I still wanted to marry him, and most feel like this is making me more of an [expletive] since I just wasted a perfectly fine wedding,” she explained. She concluded by asking: “So [am I wrong] for refusing to attend my own surprise wedding, even though it was intended as a romantic gesture?”
The bride is right in this case.
Reddit is completely on the bride’s side. Many are even questioning her relationship to Mark and her friends.
“Get the hell out of that relationship,” advised one user.
“You know marks an [expletive] when he takes his moves right out of Gaston’s playbook,” joked another.
A wedding is not supposed to be a surprise to the bride.
“I'd also be asking all my family and friends if they knew about this," pondered one Reddit user. "Who told this man this was a good idea?!?”
Another agreed and explained the concept of surprise weddings for those not in the know: “Seriously, the concept of a 'surprise wedding' means it's supposed to be a surprise for the guests, not the BRIDE!!!”
Why not a surprise engagement party?
Another user thinks Mark missed an obvious opportunity. “It's just like. A surprise engagement party was right there. Right there!” the person pointed out.
Mark missed the mark this time around. One can only hope the couple is able to work through this and listen to each other’s wants and needs before taking the plunge.
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